Raw
by NikkiB1973
Summary: Moonshine Molly formerly known as augustdarkstar has asked me to post one of her stories on my account as she wasn't getting much readership on hers. I will be co-authoring the rest of this story with her! Bella Cullen meets up with an old friend after not seeing him for ten years. What happens when the life she gave up ten years before is suddenly given back to her...set in BD AU
1. Chapter 1

**Raw**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-Moonshine Molly formerly known as augustdarkstar has asked me to post one of her stories on my account as she wasn't getting much readership on hers. I will be co-authoring the rest of this story with her! Thank you! Nikki :)**_

**Part One**

It had been ten years since Bella Cullen had seen her old home. Forks hadn't changed much in the intervening time since she had left; but then again, neither had she. She opened up her compact and checked her reflection in the small mirror. Her white complexion glowed in the dim light of the street lamps, her dark red lipstick, borrowed from her sister in law Rosalie, made her lips look fuller then they actually were. Bella made sure her brown contact lenses were still in place. You never knew who you might bump into, even at this time of night. She snapped the mirror shut and waited.

It was a cold night but Bella didn't feel it, she was cold all over now. Still she pulled her thick fleece jacket tighter around her, out of habit. She watched as a courting couple took a late evening stroll. They were holding hands and looked in the first flush of love. The young girl had a special glow about her as she looked adoringly at her companion. Bella wondered whether she had ever looked at her husband that way, she very much doubted it. She sighed as she checked her expensive watch again, he was late. Then again he had been waiting ten years for her to return, so she could forgive him for being a few minutes late.

Eventually Bella's keen sense of smell detected that he was near. She strolled casually toward a darkened corner of the street, away from the light. He was hidden within the shadows, as if he didn't want to be seen in her company. Then again, perhaps he didn't. It was he who had contacted her and asked for this meeting. Out of remembered loyalty, she had agreed.

"You came." His voice was deeper then she remembered and it sent a shiver of pleasure through her.

"Of course." Bella inched closer to him so she could get a better view. Her eyes widened when she got her first good look at the boy who had once been her best friend in the world. He looked exactly the same as she remembered, he hadn't aged. The only difference was the darkness she saw hidden in the depths of his eyes.

"I wondered if you might change your mind. It's been a long time."

"Yes, you look well, Jake." Bella whispered, studying him carefully.

"So do you. You look the same but different." He conceded.

"I am the same, up here anyway." Bella tapped her head lightly.

"How is it that your eyes are still brown?" Jacob edged closer to her, staring straight into them.

Bella took a step back, his presence was overwhelming. "Contacts." She admitted.

"Why bother?" He asked her curiously.

"Nostalgia." She lied with a smile.

They were both silent a moment as they continued to stare at each other. "Why did you ask to see me, Jake?" Bella asked him eventually. "What can I do for you?"

Jacob smiled at her, taking her by surprise. "I just wanted to catch up with an old friend."

Bella arched her eyebrows. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously." Jacob replied without a hint of irony.

Bella decided to take him at his word. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Not here. It's too open." Jacob held out his hand. Bella stared at him for a moment before tentatively placing her hand in his. She was surprised that his supernatural heat did not affect her at all. The other Cullen's had always warned her that a werewolf's touch would burn, but then again this was Jake, her Jake, maybe that made all the difference.

She allowed him to tug her toward the forest and they were soon within the confines of the trees. The local wildlife sounded loud to Bella's ears and she had to force herself to ignore it as Jacob began to make small talk.

"I love it at this time of night." He said. "Its so peaceful. It gives me time to think."

"About what?" Bella asked curiously, still somewhat bemused why he wanted to see her at all after so long.

"About the past, us." Jacob stopped walking and turned to face her. "Do you ever think about it, Bells?"

No one had called her Bells in ten years, it was strange to hear it falling from his lips. "Occasionally yes, I think about the past. I expect its something that most people do, don't they?"

Jacob frowned, it was obvious she hadn't answered him the way he wanted her too. "So you don't think about me at all?"

Bella tilted her head to one side. "I'm a vampire, Jake. My human life is over."

"Your life isn't over." Jacob said angrily. "I can change all that."

"What?" Bella stepped back from him, alarmed at his presumption. "You make no sense."

"I can make you live again, Bells. I know how to do it now. I've searched and searched for an answer and I finally went on a vision quest seeking the wisdom of my ancestors. I know now how to bring you back to life." He said eagerly.

"But Jake, I don't want to be human again." Bella told him firmly.

"You do. I know you do." Jacob said fiercely, catching hold of her hands in a tight grip. "Underneath all that hard stone, you are still my Bella, mine."

"I am not yours." Bella retorted harshly, wresting her hands from his grasp. "It was a mistake for me to come here."

"Then why did you?" Jacob questioned her.

"Because I thought I owed you. It was as simple as that." Bella retorted. "Goodbye Jacob."

Jacob ran around so he was blocking her path. "You are not going anywhere." He said sternly, his whole posture changing.

Bella glared at him. "You can't stop me."

"Maybe not alone." A smirk crossed his full lips as Bella suddenly realized the consequences of her mistake. The near silent footfalls of the pack finally reached her ears. She was trapped.

* * *

When Bella had been changed into a vampire she had to endure three days of tortuous burning before she finally awoke into her hard, marble body. But that pain was nothing to what she was enduring now. She was cold, freezing cold. Nothing she did could chase it away as one by one her internal organs sprang back into life. First it was her lungs; the pain as she took in her first real breath in ten years was indescribable, then it was her kidneys, liver and then finally blood began to drip through her deadened veins, forcing its way to her heart. As it took its first beat she screamed in pain, clawing at her new soft skin. Hot hands held her down as she writhed in agony as the cold turned to heat. It rose from her toes right through her body until it reached her brain. Bella passed out. She did not wake up for nearly a week.

* * *

The bright light hurt Bella's eyes as she forced them to open. Instead of her normally crystal clear vision, everything was slightly blurry. She raised a hand and studied her skin, it was no longer stark white, but pale and soft, just like it used to be. A sob tore from her throat as she realized Jacob had achieved what he set out to do, she was human again. Bella struggled to rise and thirst made her seek water. She managed to sit up and as she glanced to the side she saw Jacob asleep in the chair beside the bed she was lying in. She took up the glass pitcher that was set by her bedside and drank deeply until her thirst was quenched. Then she took what was left and threw it over Jacob, drenching him.

"What the fuck..." he swore as he woke up. He suddenly realized she was awake. "You're you again."

"What have you done to me?" Bella screamed at him.

"Calm down." Jacob grabbed hold of her flailing arms and held her still. "I brought you back to life."

"But I didn't want this." Bella sobbed, tears began to stream down her face. She hadn't missed crying, it had always been a sign of her human weakness and now she was right back where she started.

"You do." Jacob said with certainty. "You can start over, make the right choice this time."

"You mean you." Bella said viciously. "Don't you get it, Jake? I never wanted you."

"Liar." Jacob yelled back at her, hurt by her vitriol. This wasn't his Bella.

Bella laughed maniacally. "You just don't get it, do you? I wanted to be a vampire. Edward was just my means of getting there. I hated being Bella Swan, I was glad she was gone. Now you've brought me back..."

"You're just in shock." Jacob said weakly, stunned by her words.

Bella glared at him. "No, I am not." She turned her back on him, refusing to speak again.

* * *

"I've brought you some food." Jacob said a couple of hours later.

Bella refused to answer him. He sighed and put the tray down. "Come on, Bells. I know this is all a big change for you, but please, once you think about it..."

"Go away." Bella said coldly.

"No, not until you listen to me." Jacob went over to the bed and sat beside her. "Turn and look at me."

"No."

Jacob didn't bother to ask her again, he grabbed hold of her and forced her to turn and face him. She squealed in surprise, struggling in his arms. "Just stop fighting."He yelled at her.

"Why did you do this to me?" Bella raged at him. "Who gave you the right? You are just as bad as Edward, making decisions for me and taking my choices away."

"Don't you fucking compare me to that leech." Jacob said grimly. "I am nothing like him. I know you, Bella. You seem to forget that. You can yell and cry all you want, I know you still love me."

"You haven't seen me in ten years, Jacob. You don't know me at all anymore." Bella screamed at him. "You are holding onto an ideal of someone who died a decade ago."

"No that's not true. I know my Bella is in here somewhere. I just have to find her. Eat your food." Jacob got up swiftly and left the room.

Bella banged her fists on the bed in frustration, curling up into a ball as she cried.

* * *

Five more days passed. Jacob did not pressure her again. He would come into the room three times a day, bringing food and water, then he would leave without saying anything. Bella ate her meals in silence, then she would go and use the en-suite bathroom to wash up. It was odd having to once again deal with her bodily functions. Eating again had been a surreal experience. She had picked at the first meal, but as soon as she tasted the food on her tongue, she had gulped the food down, not being able to get enough of it.

Her resentment toward Jacob began to melt away as she started to get used to her human form again. Old memories of their shared friendship haunted her dreams at night. Sleeping felt alien to her, but she was surprised at how much she had missed it. Bella was getting lonely, she began to look forward to Jacob's visits, even though he hardly spoke. He brought her new clothes to change into and she looked at him, the words she wanted to say got stuck in her throat, and he was gone again before she could pull herself together enough to speak.

Bella sorted through the clothes, there was a change of underwear, a simple t-shirt and jeans. She hurried into the bathroom and washed herself down, actually taking the time to rinse her hair and brush it out, she put on the clean clothes and lay back on the bed staring up at the ceiling. Time seemed to pass slowly before she heard the key turning in the lock and Jacob reappeared carrying another tray of food. He was startled when she sat up and smiled at him.

"Bells?" He said hesitantly.

"Can we talk, please?" She asked him politely.

Jacob returned her smile tentatively. "Okay." He sat on the bed beside her.

"I've had a lot of time to think while I have been stuck in here." Bella admitted. "I'm sorry for how I reacted. It was overwhelming to me feeling all these human emotions again, as a vampire they are muted, I hardly recalled the past or how I used to be. Do you understand what I am trying to say?"

"Yeah, I do. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, Bells. I am just so glad you're back." Jacob's voice was laced with happiness. He held out his hand. "Do you want to eat your meal in the main house? Do you feel ready to come out of this room?"

Bella nodded, she took his hand and allowed him to lead her out of the room and into the hallway. It felt weird being back in Jacob's home, not much had changed even here. She really did feel like she was walking back into her past. They entered the living room and Jacob gestured for her to sit. As she sat on the couch he passed her the tray. "Go on eat, you must be hungry."

Bella smiled at him again as she began to eat slowly. She kept glancing at him as he watched her. "What is it?" She asked after a while, feeling slightly uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze.

"Nothing, I just can't believe you're really here, with me that's all." He gave her another smile.

"It's going to take me a while to get used to things again, Jacob." Bella warned him as she finished up her meal and passed him back the tray.

"I know that." He said quietly. "We'll take as long as you want."

Bella watched him head into the kitchen and dump the plate in the sink, a contemplative look on her face.

_**A/N-Please review! :D**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Raw**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you to the lovely readers who kindly left feed back on this story. Moonshine Molly is really grateful and appreciates the time you took to leave reviews. Nikki :)**_

**Part Two-Emotions**

Bella stared around the living room, it had been so long since she had been here. The furniture was different, the couch she was sitting on was new. The curtains at the windows had been replaced, along with the rugs on the floor. Not for the first time since Jacob and the pack had practically abducted her, she wondered just how he had managed to change her. She had examined her body many times for any sign of a mark or needle puncture, but there was nothing. Her mind turned to her husband, Edward would be frantic now that she hadn't returned. It had been over two weeks since she left. She had just slipped away without letting anyone know where she was going. Bella had assumed she would have been back by the next day.

Her musings were cut short as Jacob returned. He sat opposite her and gave her a gentle smile. "Do you feel like doing something, Bells? We could watch T.V or a film if you're up for it?"

Bella ignored his question, instead asking one of her own. "Where is Billy?"

Jacob's expression darkened as he sat back in his chair. "My dad died a year ago." He admitted.

Bella's brown eyes widened in shock. It had been so long since she had even spoken to her father on the phone. She kept up the pretense with Charlie by contacting him once a year. Their conversations would usually end in acrimony, with him begging her to just come home. She hadn't actually seen him in the flesh for eight years. Edward had forbidden it. Why had he not mentioned it? Then again maybe he had. Being a vampire tended to make you unsympathetic to the human emotion of grief. Bella felt it now though, she had liked Billy.

"I'm sorry...I didn't...I'm so sorry." She mumbled. "What happened?"

"His diabetes just got too much for him." Jacob hung his head so Bella couldn't see the wet tears gathering in his eyes. "I was hoping I would have been able to bring you back sooner."

Bella didn't know what to do, it had been so long since she had felt these type of intense human emotions that she felt like a foreigner in her own body. What had she done in the past when Jake was upset? She frowned as she forced herself to remember; hadn't she hugged him or something? The concept felt so alien to her. She hadn't hugged anyone in a decade, not in the real sense of the word. Vampires were not called cold ones for nothing. Bella bit her lip as she rose awkwardly from the sofa and went over to Jacob, his head was still bowed. How should she go about it? Tentatively Bella put her hand on his shoulder, Jacob glanced up at her in surprise, but he didn't say anything. Taking this as a sign of encouragement, she leaned down and placed both arms around his neck, whispering again how sorry she was.

Jacob was shocked that she hugged him, it had been so long since he had held her. He pulled her down onto his lap and wrapped her in his arms. Bella suddenly felt her skin heat up, it was overwhelming and too much sensation all at once. She began to struggle. "Can you let me go?"

Jacob released her immediately. Bella struggled to rise and quickly fled back to the sofa. "What's wrong?"

"I just can't..it's too much." Bella struggled to explain herself.

"What my touch disgusts you now?" Jacob demanded, hurt clear in his tone.

"No...I just...I'm finding it hard. All this human stuff...it's been so long. I can't remember what it really feels like." Bella babbled.

"What do you mean by that?" Jacob was now more curious then hurt.

"I can't explain it." Bella said miserably as she curled up on the sofa.

"Try." Jacob replied, his tone now more gentle.

Bella drew her knees up in front of her and looped her arms around them. "I feel like an alien in my own body. I have vague memories of my human life before, images and stuff, but not the emotions. I haven't felt such things in over a decade and at times it can be confusing and scary."

"Is that why you were so angry when you first woke up? I've never seen you like that, ever." Jacob knelt down in front of her, he took her hand and held it in his own. "Is this okay?"

"Yes." Bella nodded. "I don't really recall what I did those first few days. It was like I was fighting with myself."

"You've been through a lot. I have to remember that. I'm sorry." Jacob dropped her hand and sat back down on his chair.

They were silent for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts. It was Bella who broke the silence. "How did you do it? Change me back I mean."

Jacob glanced at her before dropping his eyes to the floor. "I can't tell you that."

A flare of anger burst through Bella. "That's not fair. Do you know what hell I endured?"

"I saw, I was with you the whole time." Jacob stood up and went back into the kitchen effectively ending the conversation.

Bella stared after his departing figure before getting up from the couch and fleeing back to her room.

* * *

Bella lay back on the bed, it was now dark outside and she had been asleep for over four hours. A soft knock on the door made her sit up. "Come in."

The door opened and Jacob peered round. "Is it safe to come in?" He gave her a small smile.

"Yes." She watched as he came fully into the room.

"I'm sorry about earlier." Jacob apologized. "I know that you are curious about what happened, but I am not allowed to tell you. It's a tribal secret, known only to a few."

"That doesn't matter now." Bella said quietly. "I was wondering when I can leave?"

"Leave?" Jacob froze. "You can't leave."

"Am I a prisoner?" She asked bluntly.

"No...this is your home." Jacob told her, he stepped closer to her, but she backed away. "What's going on, Bella? I thought we had made some type of breakthrough earlier."

"I can see you are a very...kind person, Jake. The bits and pieces I do remember from my previous human life have shown me that we shared some type of intense friendship, but to be honest I don't really recall the emotions. I told you it's like I am having to learn to be human all over again. I can see you want something from me, but honestly I just can't give it to you." Bella confessed helplessly.

"But I can help you." Jacob sat next to her and put his hands on either side of her face. She tried to jerk her head away but he held her in place.

A tear rolled down Bella's face. "I want to see my dad." She announced suddenly, sounding like a frightened child.

Jacob waited a second before gathering her into his arms. He expected her to pull away like she had in the past, but she didn't. He felt her put her arms around his neck as he rocked her gently. "If you want to see him, then I'll take you."

"Now?"

"It's really late, Bells."

"Please, I want to see him." Bella begged him.

"Okay, come on then." Jacob pushed Bella off of his lap and stood, holding out his hand for her to take instead.

"Thank you." She said gratefully as she tentatively placed her hand in his.

* * *

Bella stared at the large black pick up truck that Jacob was standing by, he opened the door and waited for her to climb in. He frowned when she hesitated. "What's wrong?"

"This isn't yours." Bella felt puzzled as she tried to sift through vague memories of her previous life.

"I've been driving this for the last five years." Jacob watched her changing expressions.

"It was red and had an animal name." Bella mumbled. She put her hands on her head as if it hurt her.

"You mean my old car, the VW Rabbit." Jacob gave her a wistful smile.

"That's it." Bella's face brightened. "Can we go in the Rabbit?"

"Bells I don't have her anymore. She just wore out." He told her gently.

"Oh." Bella felt crestfallen. Every little titbit she did remember seemed to have vanished or died.

"Come on, if you want to see your dad then we need to go now." Jacob held her hand as he assisted her into the truck.

"Does he knew I'm back here?" Bella asked suddenly.

Jacob shook his head as he climbed in the driver's side. "I didn't say anything. I didn't want to get his hopes up. He's missed you Bella."

"The last time we spoke on the phone, we argued." Bella admitted. "He may not want to see me."

Jacob switched on the engine. "Trust me, Bells, he will."

* * *

Bella stared out of the window at the passing scenery. It had been so long since she had been back to Forks. She had to strain her eyes now that she no longer had enhanced vision. She pressed her hands on the closed passenger window, her breath fogging the glass as she peered through it. Everything seemed familiar, there was the small high street which was really just a road with a few shops. She saw the diner, it's bright lights spilling out into the dark night. After another five minutes of driving they finally reached her old home. A weird churning feeling in her stomach made her feel nauseous as she gazed at the two storey house that her father still lived in.

Jacob parked in the driveway behind the police cruiser that sent a shock wave of memories through Bella. Her hands clung to the leather seats of the truck as she began to hyperventilate.

"Bells?" Jacob unsnapped his seat belt and took hold of her hands as her body shook.

"I...I...can't. Can we go?" She gasped out.

"Alright if that's what you want. Just try and keep calm. Take deep breaths." Jacob stroked her hair back from her forehead.

Bella did as he instructed, she breathed through her nose then exhaled out of her mouth. It helped a little as her heart stopped fluttering in her chest and resumed a normal beat. Once Jacob was sure that Bella had herself under control he switched the engine back on so they could leave, but he was too late. The front door to the house opened, the light from the hall flooding the drive. A shadowy figure ran down the steps and over to the truck.

"Jacob." Bella flinched as she heard the familiar deep voice of her dad, Charlie Swan.

"Jake, get me out of here. I can't do this." Bella begged him. Her emotions were too overwhelming, she couldn't cope.

"It's too late, Bells. I'm sorry." Jacob apologized.

The driver's door of the truck was yanked open and Charlie peered inside. He first saw Jacob and was about to greet him when his eyes landed on Bella. She stared back at him in shock, her whole body shaking as she took in just how much he had aged. His hair was entirely grey now, his mustache was flecked with the same color. But it was his eyes that really caught her attention, there was a sadness in them that made her want to weep.

"Bells?" Charlie's voice shook as he said her name.

Bella gave him a tentative smile as she answered him. "Dad...I've come home."

_**A/N-please review! :D**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Raw**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you to everyone who kindly reviewed. **_

**Part Three-Breakdown**

Bella had to lean on Jacob as she followed her dad up the steps and into the house, her body was trembling so badly that she didn't know whether she would be able to remain upright. She sat down on the same couch that had been there the last time she had lived with her dad, in fact nothing had been changed in the house at all. It seemed that time had stopped here as soon as she had left. The only thing that had changed irrevocably was Charlie, he had aged more then she expected over the last eight years.

Charlie sat in his recliner as he looked at her, there was moisture shining in his eyes as he tried to blink back his tears. Jacob left the room discreetly to give them some time alone. Bella didn't know what to say, when she had been at Jake's house she had suddenly longed to see her father, but now he was in front of her she was scared. How was she supposed to explain what had been happening the last ten years?

"Bells you haven't changed at all since I last saw you." Charlie's voice was husky as he spoke.

Bella clasped her hands together to stop them twisting in her lap. "You look well yourself." She said lamely.

Charlie grimaced. "You don't have to lie, kiddo."

"I'm...not..." Her words faltered.

"When did you get here and how come you are with Jake? I thought the two of you were no longer in contact." Charlie asked her.

"I...I...err...we..." Bella was so nervous that she began to hyperventilate again, her breathing became ragged and she wrapped her arms around her middle. The emotional intensity of her reunion with her dad was just too much for her. "Jake." She cried out.

He was back in an instant. Charlie looked at him in alarm as he witnessed his daughters distress. Jacob took her hands and told her to look at him. "Breathe, Bells. Just breathe."

Bella inhaled through her nose and exhaled out of her mouth, she did this several times until the panic attack began to recede and her heart rate returned to normal. She hid her face in Jacob's shoulder, not being able to bear looking at her dad.

"What's wrong with her?" Charlie demanded. "What's going on?"

Jacob knew that he had to take over the conversation, but it would mean lying. Charlie knew nothing about what had been happening to Bella over the last ten years. "She's left Cullen."

"Left him?" Charlie's eyes flicked to Bella who was still hiding her face from him. "Why didn't you come back here, kiddo?"

Bella couldn't answer him, so once again Jacob spoke for her. "She was just worried about how you would react. She knows things have been difficult between you over the years."

"Difficult." Charlie echoed. He got up and knelt in front of Bella. "Look at me, Bells."

"I can't." She whispered.

"Look at me." Charlie raised his voice and Bella jumped.

With Jacob's encouragement she finally pulled her head off his shoulder and glanced at her father. "Sorry." She mumbled.

"You know that whatever disagreements we may have had that you could have come straight home, don't you?" Charlie's voice was softer now.

Bella nodded, not knowing what else to say. Being back in her father's house was like stepping into the past. Old memories of her previous human life began to replay in her head. It was as if seeing her father had unlocked the chest where she had kept them hidden all these years. She gulped as she remembered the shabby way she had treated him and everyone else. "I'm sorry." She apologized again.

"Stop saying sorry, kiddo. You know that I love you. Did Cullen hurt you?" Charlie tried to keep his tone even.

Bella floundered, not knowing what to say. Edward hadn't hurt her, not physically anyway. In the end she shook her head. "No. It just came to a natural end."

"You should never have married him, Bells. I always knew this day would come." Charlie got up from his knees, rubbing his aching calves as he did so. "At least you are home now. Thanks for bringing her back, Jake. Are her things in the truck?"

Jacob froze. "No...Bells is staying with me, Charlie."

"Why? There is no need. Her home is here. Perhaps you could go back and get her stuff. I can make up her old room" Charlie stated adamantly.

Jacob stood up and faced Charlie down, he respected Bella's father enormously, in fact thought of him as a surrogate father, but on this issue he would not back down. Bella was too emotionally damaged to be left unsupervised. "I don't want to go against you Charlie, but right now Bells is not in a good place. She asked to stay with me, so for the moment that's where she'll be living."

"I am her father Jake, remember that?" Charlie's face reddened as his anger began to kick in.

Bella watched the two of them and felt another wave of emotion wash over her. She was beginning to feel physically sick. "Please don't argue." She gasped out.

Jacob immediately sat next to her and put a calming hand on her shoulder. "It's okay." He glanced back up at Charlie. "I know this is hard Charlie, but Bells is better off staying with me for now. I can help her. I promise that you can come visit or I'll bring her here whenever."

Charlie ran a hand through his greying hair and sighed. "What happened that was so bad that you are so nervy, kiddo?"

"I don't know." Bella cried out. "I don't know anything anymore. I'm sorry." She buried her head back in Jacob's shoulder, unable to answer any more questions.

"Alright kiddo, stay calm." Charlie was heartbroken to see her in such a state. He decided to concede to Jacob's wishes and allow Bella to stay with him. Putting pressure on her was just contributing to her distress. "I will be around first thing in the morning to see you, Bells, alright."

"Yes." Bella allowed Jacob to help her up from her her seat, her legs were feeling shaky again as she struggled to deal with her heightened levels of stress.

"We'll see you in the morning then Charlie...and thanks." Jacob said as he slipped an arm around Bella's waist to keep her upright.

Charlie gave him an abrupt nod. He reached out and laid a hand on Bella's cheek for a moment before letting go. "Sleep well, kiddo."

Bella nodded as Jacob led her out of the house and helped her back into the truck as if she was a small child. Charlie stood at the door and watched as Jacob backed out of the drive and began the journey back to La Push.

* * *

Bella was emotionally exhausted. By the time they reached Jacob's house she was falling asleep. Jacob lifted her out of the truck and carried her into the house; she was as floppy as a rag doll. He gently laid her on the bed and sat down beside her, brushing a lock of hair from her forehead. He was getting increasingly worried about her. Jacob had to admit he hadn't expected any of this; in his head it was all going to be easy, Bella would wake up and be like her old self. She was in fact the total opposite, more like a frightened child then anything. She appeared to remember some things but only in hazy memories. It was like she was having to learn to live again.

"Oh honey I'm sorry." Jacob said sadly as he watched her sleep for a moment. "Was I selfish in forcing you to come back to me? I've just fought so hard over the years to find a cure...I just couldn't carry on without you. It gave me something to cling to and kept me sane over the years.." his voice drifted off as she rolled away from him, her back now a barrier between them. Jacob sighed as he stood up and left the room.

* * *

Bella curled into a ball as she began to sweat, her body was covered in perspiration. She was having a dream, or more accurately, reliving her past. One image after another shot through her brain, each one torturing her in it's intensity. Time after time she was a witness to her selfish actions, not just toward Jacob, but her friends, her father and even her mother, Renee. She may have kept tentative contact with her dad, but she had cut her mom out of her life completely. She began to thrash about, her hands clawing at her face as she saw her relationship with Edward play out in her minds eye. It was like watching an autobiographical movie about her life.

Was she really this selfish and hurtful? Everything revolved around Edward, one by one she saw herself pushing her friends aside, using Jacob to get what she wanted and then discarding him when it suited her. She was forced to watch as she treated her father like a distant acquaintance, the more he tried to become involved in her life, the further she backed away from him. Scenes with Jacob came and went, she saw him repeatedly try to get her to admit her feelings for him, but the same old excuses and lies would spill from her lips. Was this really who Bella Swan had been, a shameful, manipulative liar? Yes it appeared that was exactly what she was. Being a vampire suited her; she was genuinely a cold hearted, selfish user and Bella wondered what Jacob had seen in her back then and why he was fighting so damn hard all these years later to bring her back.

Bella woke up with a jerk, her sheets were twisted around her sweat soaked body. She struggled to untangle herself and ended up falling on the floor. She welcomed the pain as she grazed her knees and shins. Staggering to her feet Bella headed into the bathroom and stripped off her clothes. Turning on the shower she stepped under the cold water, not bothering to wait until it warmed up. Goose pimples pricked her skin as she tried to wash away the memories of her tainted past.

* * *

Jacob was surprised when he heard Bella come out of her room. He had been sitting in the living room watching the television, unable to sleep. He watched as she padded into the room, her hair was soaking wet, the tendrils hanging limply around her thin shoulders. She had pulled on one of his shirts and buttoned it haphazardly, most of the buttons in the wrong holes. Her brown eyes were wide as she stood in front of him.

"Bells, what's wrong?" He stood up and led her to the couch, gently coaxing her to sit down.

"You should have left me to rot." She gasped out.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Jacob took hold of the tops of her arms and made her look at him.

"Why did you spend the last ten years trying to bring me back, Jacob? I am so not worth it. I never was." Bella cried out as she sagged against him.

"Don't talk like that. You're worth it to me." Jacob tried to reassure her, but Bella shook her head.

"Bella Swan is a selfish, manipulative liar and I hate her." She said vehemently.

Jacob shook her a little. "Stop saying that. You were never like that."

"I was. All I did was take and take, sucking the life out of everyone and everything. I was born to be a vampire." She screamed at him.

Jacob was suddenly across the room, he had moved so fast that Bella had flopped back on the couch as he released her. His whole body was shaking, she stared at him in shock. "Don't you ever say that again." He seethed.

"But it's true." Bella said weakly. "I saw it all." She tapped her head. "I finally remembered."

"You remember?" Jacob seemed to have calmed down a touch, he was no longer shaking.

"Yes. Let me ask you one thing?"

"What?" Jacob breathed as he took a step closer.

"How the hell could you love someone like me?" Bella asked him before she burst into tears.

_**A/N-please review. **_


	4. Chapter 4

**Raw **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Four-Too Much to Take**

Jacob knelt in front of Bella and gently reached up to wipe the tears from her eyes. "You want to know why I love you so much, well then I'll tell you."

Bella stared at him sadly, unable to stop the tears streaming down her face. She waited for him to speak, unable to think of a single reason why he would have such deep feelings for her. "Tell me then." She whispered.

"I fell in love with the five year old girl who took the time to build mud pies with me and, who every summer, would come stay with her dad and spend all of the two weeks of her visit allowing an infatuated young boy to follow her around. I fell in love with her even more when she came to live with her dad permanently when she was seventeen and I met her again on First beach. She was so beautiful and she listened to the scary stories that I tried to impress her with." Jacob took Bella's hands in his own. She had stopped crying and seemed to be listening to him intently.

"Jake I..." She began, but he hushed her.

"I haven't finished yet." Jacob gave her a gentle smile. "I fell in love with the sad girl who spent hours on end in my garage, keeping me company while I fixed up the bikes. She was so patient and gentle, willing to listen to me chatter on about cars, my friends, everything. I hadn't been really happy in so long, and often felt lonely with it just being me and my dad. Spending time with her each afternoon was the highlight of my life."

Bella was spellbound by his voice, she leaned in closer, captivated by the expression on his face.

"I loved her even more when she came to find me after my life was turned upside down. She refused to give up on me or our friendship. She was brave, confronting a pack of wolves and raging at them for taking me away from her. She accepted me in her life, even though I thought I was a monster."

His words made Bella remember. An image flashed through her mind of a group of young, muscular men standing in a line before her. One of them seemed more angry then the others, his whole body was shaking as he yelled at her. She saw herself raise her hand and slap him. "I remember..." she glanced at him in wonder.

Jacob tentatively touched her cheek, for a brief moment, she had sounded like his Bella. "I love you Bells. I always have. There is not one particular reason, I just do. You call yourself selfish and manipulative, but that's not true. You were brave and fearless under exceptional circumstances. You were also young, we all were,and made some bad choices."

"How can you be so forgiving?" Bella asked him. "I really hurt you."

Jacob sighed. "That's what you do when you love someone, Bella." He said simply. He released his hold on her hands and stood back up. She felt cold when he stepped away from her. "You should get some sleep."

"Jake I..."

"Get some sleep, Bells." Jacob urged her. He left the room, leaving her alone.

* * *

Bella lay on her bed staring up at the ceiling. She mulled over what Jacob had told her. His words had really touched her soul, he had been open and honest about his feelings. He was fearless in every way that mattered. She tried to recall the last ten years of her life which had been spent in a cold, marble body. Every day had been pretty much the same after she was changed. She couldn't sleep so the night hours had either been spent listening to Edward play his music or reading voraciously from Carlisle's huge store of books. Even they ran out in the end. She had tried to take up a hobby, something to fill up the empty hours that seemed to go on and on.

Alice would often try to involve her in pointless shopping sprees; sometimes she would accompany her just for something to do. But traipsing through the endless designer stores trying on clothes that cost obscene amounts of money, bored her. Bella had tried to befriend Rosalie, but the blonde beauty would have little to do with her, sneering that she had warned her of the consequences of her choice.

Her relationship with Edward began to deteriorate not long after she was changed. The first few weeks had been a trial honeymoon for them, but she found him as cold and lifeless in bed as he had been when she was still human. It seemed ingrained in him. Their sex life dwindled after the first six months. After that they tended to avoid each other as much as possible, just keeping up the pretense of unity for the other members of the family.

Bella had missed cooking, it was the one thing in her human life that she knew for certain that she was good at. One time she had gone out and bought a load of food and cooked up a feast, she had been proud of her efforts, intending to pass the food onto the hospital that Carlisle was working at as a donation. But one critical word from Edward about the pointlessness of her exercise had upset her, forcing her to throw the food away.

The unexpected phone call from Jacob had been like a breath of fresh to her. She hadn't seen him in ten years and a thrill of excitement had washed over her at the thought of embarking on an adventure into her past. His request to see her had been intriguing. Bella had left straight away, not bothering to let anyone know where she was headed. Now here she was.

She continued to lay on her back, staring sightlessly at the ceiling as she pondered over the turn her life had taken. At first she had been angry and petrified to find herself back in her fragile human form, but now after finally getting to grips with her erratic emotions and the memories of her past, Bella could admit that she was glad that Jacob had given her another chance at life. It was her chance at redemption, and she knew just where to start.

* * *

Jacob was woken by the delicious smell of a fried breakfast. He sat up in bed, running a hand through his hair, making it stand up in spikes. He got out of bed and wandered into the hallway, following the tempting smell into the kitchen. A tentative smile touched his lips as he found Bella in front of the stove, cooking. When she heard him approach, she spun around and waved a spatula at him.

"Sit." She gave him a small smile. "I've made you some breakfast. I have eggs, bacon and fried bread or pancakes if you like."

Jacob sat down at the table and watched as she piled his plate high with food. "Thanks." He said gratefully as he picked up his knife and fork and began to eat. "This is lovely, Bells."

"I'm glad you like it." Bella took a small plate for herself and placed two slices of fried bread on it. She joined Jacob at the table and they both sat in companionable silence as they ate.

After he had finished Jacob took his empty plate to the sink and washed it up. "You remember Charlie is coming to see you this morning."

"Yes, I remember." Bella said softly as she followed him over to the sink.

"When he comes I need to leave for a while." Jacob told her, avoiding her eyes.

"Why? Where are you going?" Bella's hand began to shake, she dropped her plate, but Jacob managed to catch it before it hit the floor.

"I am meeting with the pack." Jacob said nonchalantly.

Bella froze. "To talk about me?"

"Yes, among other things." Jacob dried his plate and began to wash up the pots and pans.

"I bet they hate me." Bella said dully. "How did you manage to persuade them to help you?"

"I didn't need to persuade them. I needed their help and so they did." Jacob piled the pans on the draining board, ready to be dried.

"That night in Forks," Bella hesitated for a moment. "I don't remember what happened after you all captured me."

Jacob stopped what he was doing and placed his hands on the worktop, he hunched over avoiding her eyes. "Do you really want to know?"

"I don't know." Bella bit her lip. "Was it bad?"

"It wasn't pleasant." Jacob muttered. "Are you sure you want me to tell you?"

Bella thought about it for a moment, then shook her head. "No, if it was bad or what I did was bad then maybe it's best I don't remember."

Jacob finally turned to look at her for a moment, there was a sadness in his eyes that took her breath away. Before she could ask him what was wrong he turned away again. "I need to have a shower. Thanks for breakfast." He strode away, not looking her way again.

* * *

Charlie arrived promptly at nine o'clock. Jacob let him in and then left, telling Charlie he needed to run some errands. Bella felt forlorn when he was gone. She still didn't know the best way to handle her father. Whatever she told him was going to be based on lies, and right now she was sick of telling untruths, but what other choice did she have?

"Are you feeling better this morning, kiddo?" Charlie asked her as he sat on one of the chairs.

Bella nodded, forcing a smile onto her face. "I'm sorry about last night. I just felt so overwhelmed."

"What really happened with Edward, Bells? You can talk to me you know. I can be a good listener. I promise I won't judge." Charlie reached out and took her trembling hand in his own.

"Please dad, I really can't say." Bella said quickly. "I should never have married him, we weren't suited even though I tried to convince myself we were. I'm sorry for being distant all these years, I was just too ashamed to admit I was wrong."

Charlie mulled over her words for a moment. "Why did you run to Jake instead of coming home?"

Bella swallowed nervously, frantic with worry that she would entangle herself in more lies she couldn't unravel. In the end she went with the partial truth. "Jake contacted me, I was so happy to hear from him that I came back so we could meet. Being here opened my eyes to how empty my marriage had become. Jacob kindly let me stay here until I sorted my head out."

"He's been a good friend to you." Charlie replied. "Billy and I always hoped that you would grow to love Jake. I know the boy has loved you for years. It was Billy's last wish that you come home and reunite with his son. He was so sad, we all were, to see how lonely and isolated Jake has been all these years. He had friends around him for sure, but he never dated or seemed interested in other girls. It was like he was waiting for the day you came home."

Easy tears began to leak out of Bella's eyes at Charlie's revelations. "I've been so selfish, dad and I can't even begin to fathom how to make it up to any of you."

"No more apologies, kiddo." Charlie patted her hand awkwardly before releasing it. "The past is done, it's what you do now that matters. You have to be careful with Jake, Bells. If you are never going to return his feelings, then you should be clear on that from the start. Don't get his hopes up. You know you can move back in with me if it gets too awkward."

"Thank you." Bella said sincerely as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I don't know how I feel about anything at the moment. I'm still learning how to be me again."

"What do you mean by that?" Charlie frowned.

Bella knew she had slipped up. She began to backtrack. "I mean it's hard being single again. I need to find out who I am."

"Oh I see." Charlie gave her a small smile. "Why don't I treat you to some breakfast in the diner, kiddo? You look as if you could use some fresh air."

Even though she had eaten breakfast with Jacob already, Bella was so touched by Charlie's gesture that she agreed. Charlie's face brightened at this and Bella felt a small burst of pleasure at making her father smile. Maybe this was how she could redeem herself, small baby steps seemed to be the answer.

* * *

Jacob came home exhausted after his meeting with the pack. True to form it hadn't gone well, even though he had told Bella his brothers would always back him up when he needed them, it didn't stop them from voicing their opinions. They had certainly done that, especially Paul. Jacob looked with resignation at his bloodied knuckles, the grazes were already smoothing over and would be gone soon. He needed to wash his hands so Bella didn't see the dried blood and start asking questions.

The house was silent as he walked inside and his stomach dropped. He began to frantically search every room, calling out Bella's name, even though he already knew she was gone. Jacob punched the wall in his despair as he realized she had abandoned him once again at the first opportunity. He had been a fool to leave her alone with Charlie. She must have waited until her dad left and then made her escape. Jacob sank to the floor and leaned against the wall, his heart hammering madly in his chest. He had been such an idiot to believe that she was beginning to show signs of her old self. The remorse over her past treatment of him must have been fake. Taking deep shuddering breaths, Jacob began to give in to his despair.

* * *

Bella got out of the cruiser and shut the door. Charlie wound down his window. "See you tomorrow for dinner?" He checked.

"Yes, be here for six. I won't tell Jake I'm cooking. I want it to be a surprise." Bella smiled as she stepped back. Charlie waved through his open window as he began to back out of the drive. Bella waited until his car was out of sight before heading into the house.

She was still smiling as she entered the house. After weeks of dealing with her fraught emotions, it was soothing to feel so calm. She couldn't wait to tell Jacob how well the breakfast with her dad had gone. Bella wandered into the living room totally unprepared for the sight that met her eyes. Jacob was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. His head was hidden in his hands and Bella could see his shoulders shaking as he cried silently.

_**A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Raw **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thanks for the lovely reviews!**_

**Part Five-Emotional Overload**

Bella stood in the doorway, frozen in place as she stared at Jacob. She wondered if he was even aware that she had entered the house. Her happiness at reconnecting with her father dissipated as she tried to think what to do. What should she do? His sobs were tearing at her heart, making it beat loudly in her chest. She was surprised it didn't tear free from the force of its beat. The calm feeling she had been enjoying floated away as anxiety and panic took it's place. One part of her wanted to run from the room and pretend she had never been witness to Jacob's despair, but the other part was urging her to do...something? But what?

"Jake, what's wrong?" The words were torn from her throat as her hands began to tremble. She took a small step forward, nearly tripping over her own feet.

Jacob's whole body shuddered at the sound of her voice, he finally raised his head and Bella gasped as she saw the tracks of his tears. His dark eyes were full of liquid as it continued to spill down his cheeks. He looked at her as if she was some sort of ghost. She took another uncertain step forward. "Jake...I...what...I don't know what to do?" She twisted her hands in front of her as she felt her own tears begin to flow down her cheeks as she felt his pain surge through her.

"_Your pain is my pain."_ Bella's breathing became ragged as an image of herself and Jacob blazed through her consciousness. Had she said that to him once? Was this what she was feeling right now, his pain? Was that why her heart wanted to burst out of her chest?

"Bella?" Jacob was breathing just as heavily as he finally spoke. The sadness in his tone made Bella finally move. She scooted over to him and sank to her knees. "Bella?" He said again.

"Yes." She reached out a shaking hand and laid it on his warm cheek, feeling the wetness slide through her fingers as the tears continued to spill from his eyes. "Did something happen?"

"You were gone." Jacob's body shook again as he closed his eyes, trying to get himself under control.

"Dad took me out to breakfast." Bella whispered.

A strange look crossed Jacob's face as he opened his eyes again. "You were gone." He said again. "I thought you left me."

"Leave?" Bella said in confusion. "Where would I go?"

"I don't know." Jacob replied brokenly. "I just thought you left me."

Bella stared into his sad eyes, her hand left his cheek and slid down his neck to his chest, her fingers sinking into his skin as she felt around for his heart. Heat shot through her and she snatched her hand away and held it against her own chest. "What was that?"

Jacob moved so he was kneeling in front of her. He reached out and gently hooked her hair behind her ear. He let his fingers linger on the side of her face. He could hear her heart fluttering madly in her chest, her brown eyes wide with anxiety and fear at seeing him like this. She was struggling, he could see it. But he was just so happy that she was back; she hadn't left him, she had been with Charlie the whole time. It was this thought that made him reckless, he was so consumed with relief and love that he just acted on instinct.

Jacob cupped the back of Bella's head, his fingers tangling in her hair as he leaned forward and kissed her full on the mouth.

* * *

Warmth surged through Bella as Jacob's lips touched hers. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his mouth moving against her own, gently, giving her time to either push him away or reciprocate. Her trembling hands rested on his shoulders as he continued to kiss her, softly and so sensually. Bella's eyelids fluttered closed, her mouth slowly beginning to move with his as she let the new wave of emotions flood through her soul. Jacob needed this, she could sense it. He needed the comfort, to feel that she was really here and not some vision that was going to be snatched away when he opened his eyes.

Bella was struggling. The heat passing between them was all consuming. The unfamiliar feelings and sensations traveled down her body, setting her skin on fire. She felt Jacob's hand glide down her back until he reached her waist, then ever so slowly his fingers began to toy with the edge of her shirt. He did not break the kiss the whole time.

When Bella felt his tongue slip between her lips and touch hers, she gasped and pulled back. Jacob released her at once as she scrambled away from him on her hands and knees, her breath coming in short pants. It was all too much for her to handle, the pleasant sensations, the heat and the passion and desire she had never experienced before were just too overwhelming. She shivered like a frightened animal as she stared at him wide eyed.

"Too much?" Jacob asked her gently as he carefully approached her.

Bella nodded, having no control over her voice. She watched him come nearer, he reached out and touched her cheek with his fingers, caressing the soft skin with his thumb. "It's going to be okay, Bells." He leaned in to kiss her again, but she turned her head. "What is it?"

Bella backed away from him again, this time staggering onto her feet and then fleeing to her room, shutting the door firmly behind her. She slid down the door, her eyes closing as she tentatively touched her lips, the tingling feeling of his kiss still resonating. Desire washed over her again as she replayed the kiss in her mind, the feeling shooting down to her very core, making her regret that she had bolted. She had been through so much the last few weeks, her emotions had been like a roller coaster as she tried to gain control of her mind and body. They were constantly in conflict with each other, sending her spiraling out of control, just like now.

She rested against the door for a long time, wondering what to do.

* * *

"Bells." Jacob knocked tentatively on the door. She hadn't come out of her room for two hours and he was beginning to get worried. He had given her some space, hoping that once she had time to think things over, she would forgive him for his rash actions. For a brief moment it had been bliss between them as he felt her reciprocate, but then he had taken it too far. He knocked on the door again. "Please, Bells, can we talk? That's all I promise."

After another excruciating moment of silence, he heard movement inside and Bella finally opened the door. Her face was flushed and she seemed to be having trouble looking him in the eye. She gestured for him to come in. Jacob strode in and sat on the bed, looking at her expectantly. "Come here." He patted the spot beside him.

Bella shuffled over awkwardly and perched on the edge of the bed. She hid behind her long hair, still not able to look at him. Before he had the chance to apologize she spoke first. "I want to say I'm sorry, Jacob." She said formally.

"Huh?" Jacob's brow furrowed as he looked at her in confusion.

Bella gave him a side glance before focusing on her hands again, twisting them around in her lap. "I took advantage of you when you were clearly distressed. I'm so sorry. All I can say is that I'm still trying to get used to my human emotions again, I try to reign them in, but when I'm around you, they seem to get the better of me."

Jacob was completely confounded. Bella was under the false misapprehension that she had taken advantage of him. If she didn't seem so upset about it, he would have laughed out loud. Instead he touched her arm gently. "I'm fine, honey. You didn't take advantage of me, in fact it was the other..."

"I need food." Bella interrupted him, standing suddenly. She glanced at him again, blushing when he smiled at her.

"Are you hungry?"

"No, I mean I need to buy food. I invited my dad over to have dinner with us tonight. I want to cook." She said hurriedly.

Jacob raised his eyebrows at her, a small smile playing about his lips. "Are you doing that avoidance thing with me?" He teased her.

"What do you mean?" Bella mumbled, risking another look at him, her cheeks flushing again.

"It's an old Bella tactic. Whenever you didn't want to face something you would suddenly decide you needed to cook or go somewhere." Jacob's smile widened as she glared at him; he could see a flash of the old Bella in her expression.

"No I'm not doing that." She lied badly. "I really want to go shopping and buy some ingredients."

Jacob didn't push her further, satisfied with the reactions he had gotten from her already. The morning's fraught emotions had drained away as he realised the import of his over reaction. She hadn't abandoned him like he had thought, he had jumped to the wrong conclusion at the outset causing himself unnecessary grief and pain. Knowing that she had no intention of going made him drunk with relief. He jumped up from the bed and took her hand.

"Come on, I'll drive you into town and we can stock up." He offered.

The touch of his skin on hers made Bella's body heat up again. She had the urge to fan herself down. If she carried on like this every time he held her hand, she was sure to embarrass herself. Making sure to keep her eyes trained to the ground, lest she give her thoughts away, she let him lead her from the room.

* * *

They ended up driving into Forks. The small shop that served La Push didn't have everything that Bella insisted she needed. Jacob parked up the truck and jumped easily to the ground, making no sound as his feet hit the dirt. He quickly ran round and helped Bella down out of the truck. He noticed she blushed again when he took her hand. She had been in a permanent state of embarrassment ever since they had left the house.

Hurrying inside before Jacob could hold her hand again, Bella ran straight into someone. She rebounded off of them and fell backwards, landing on the hard floor with a crash. "Ouch."

"I'm so sorry." A familiar male voice made her freeze. Daring to look up she stared into the startled eyes of Mike Newton. "Bella Swan is that you?"

Bella scrambled to her feet, ignoring his proffered hand. Where was Jacob? She thought he had been right behind her? She stepped back as Mike continued to stare at her. If it wasn't for the fact that she recognized his voice, she wouldn't have known who he was. He had changed so much in the intervening years since she has last seen him. His blonde hair was now entirely gone, his scalp shone under the dim lights in the store. He had put on weight too, she noticed that he was trying to breathe in discreetly. Only his blue eyes remained the same.

"You haven't changed at all, Bella." Mike said in admiration. "How long has it been?"

"T...ten years." Bella stammered. "You've aged...I mean err...not aged." She cursed herself inwardly.

Mike ignored her faux pas. "Are you here visiting your dad?"

Bella was saved from replying as Jacob came up behind her. She could feel the warmth coming from his body as he placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay, Bells?"

"Yeah, just tripped." Bella mumbled.

"She was always doing that in the old days, right Bella?" Mike joked.

"Right." She said weakly.

"Maybe we can catch up if you're staying in the area?" Mike suggested hopefully.

Bella felt Jacob's fingers dig into her shoulder. She was certain she actually heard him growl. Mike must have heard it too as he took a step back as he stared up at Jacob. "Do I know you?"

"You will do if you make a move on her again." Jacob seethed.

"I...I...I...err...right. I have to go. Nice to see you again, Bella." Mike stuttered as he quickly made his exit.

Bella fought the urge to laugh loudly. As it was she felt it push up from her stomach and she began to cough. Jacob rubbed her back gently, but his touch sent the same waves of desire shoot through her body and she coughed harder. Everyone in the store turned to stare at the two of them. Jacob quickly slipped his arm across her shoulders and led her back outside. Bella quickly escaped his hold as she was finding it hard to cope with her whirling emotions; they were going into overdrive.

Leaning against the cool metal of the truck she tipped her head back and closed her eyes. The laughter bubbled from her throat as she pictured Mike's alarmed expression as he hurried from the store. Tears began to run down her cheeks as she fought for breath, the laughter spilling from deep inside. Jacob gazed at her in wonder as he watched her experience joy for the first time since she had come back to him.

_**A/N-please review! :D**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Raw**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you to everyone who kindly reviewed and is following this story! :)**_

**Part Six-Re-meeting the Pack**

Bella finally managed to regain control of herself after her impromptu laughing fit, they both went back inside the store and purchased the ingredients that she had been searching for. They drove back toward La Push, Bella balancing the shopping on her lap. Every few minutes she would giggle to herself again as she pictured Mike's face when Jacob had growled at him. Jacob glanced at her often, amused himself by her constant giggling fits. So by the time they reached his house they were both in a good mood, that is until they saw who was gathered outside.

"What the hell are they doing here?" Jacob muttered as he put the truck in park. "I told them to stay away."

Bella peered out of the windscreen and the smile vanished from her face. Seven pairs of hostile eyes stared back at her, she shrank back in her seat, the shopping slipping off of her lap. Jacob was frowning as he glared at his pack brothers. "Stay here, Bells." He told her before jumping out of the truck. Bella didn't need asking twice. There was no way she was ready to face Jacob's pack.

She watched as he strode over to one of the tallest males, his face had an inscrutable expression and his arms were crossed as Jacob began yelling at him. Despite herself Bella edged forward in her seat and unwound her window so she could hear what was being said. She had finally recognized the male Jacob was shouting at; it was Sam Uley, the Alpha of the pack.

"I told you all to stay away." Jacob said again to Sam.

"And I told you that is not an option. We have every right to see and assess what the current situation is with Bella Cullen. We helped you get her back, remember?" Sam's dark eyes flashed fire, although he kept his voice calm.

Jacob got right in his face. "And I told you I had everything under control. She needs space to get herself together. And she is not Bella fucking Cullen anymore, so stop calling her that."

"How about leech lover then?" Another male sneered. He was shorter then Jacob and Sam by a couple of inches, but still as well built as both of them.

Jacob whipped around quickly and Bella gasped as she saw him punch the guy in the face. The other male staggered back, holding a bloody nose. "You'll pay for that." He seethed at Jacob.

"Enough." Sam commanded. Both Jacob and the other male stood frozen to the spot. "Paul back off, hurling insults gets you nowhere and as for you." Sam's eyes narrowed as he looked Jacob straight in the eye. "If we want to see Bella, then we will."

Jacob's arms were shaking as he locked eyes with his Alpha. Sam stood taller and glared right back at him. It looked to Bella like they were having a silent battle of wills. It was broken when the only female stepped between them, putting a hand on their heaving chests. "Will you two stop the pissing contest. I for one have somewhere better to be, so let's asses the chick then leave." She suggested.

Bella studied the girl, she wore her shiny black hair in a chin length bob, her attractive face was set in a bored expression, her eyes flickering between the two men, lingering longest on Sam. She dropped her hands from their chests and stepped back, striding away to lean back against the house. The girl had the longest legs Bella had ever seen, they went well with her athletic build. Her words seemed to have penetrated Sam and Jacob's consciousness because both their shoulders relaxed and they looked away from each other.

"Come on Jake. We're not here to cause trouble." Another one of the males said. His voice was gentle as he spoke. The name Embry popped into Bella's head as an image of herself and Jacob working on the bikes floated through her mind. She searched around for Jacob's other friend, Quil? But she couldn't see him.

Jacob sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he glanced back at Bella. "Head inside. I just need to speak to her." He said in resignation.

Sam nodded at him stiffly, leading the others into the house. Jacob came over to the truck and climbed inside. He shut the door and gazed worriedly at Bella. "I was hoping to have more time, but they won't be satisfied until they see and speak to you themselves." He admitted hopelessly.

Bella huddled away from him, she drew her knees up to her chest and looped her arms around them. "I can't do it, Jake." She mumbled, remembering the cold looks on all of their faces. "Make them go away."

Jacob gripped the steering wheel in frustration. "I can't. They are my pack, my family. Please Bells, I know this is going to be difficult but I need you to help me out here. Once they see how well you're doing and that you have no intentions of going back to...to...him, then they will be satisfied."

"Edward." Bella whispered her husbands name, she didn't see Jacob flinch as she was staring sightlessly out of the windscreen. For the first time in an age she wondered what he was doing. The whole Cullen family must be out searching for her, though she had been very thorough at covering her tracks. She pondered whether Edward would come back this way in search of her.

"You don't want to go back to him, do you?" Jacob tried to keep his voice under control as he too stared out at the house.

Bella shook herself. "No." She breathed. "I was just worried that he might come this way looking for me."

Jacob let out a sigh of relief. He let go of the wheel and gently touched her cheek, letting his fingers linger on her skin. Bella's breath hitched in her throat as the same intense feeling of desire shot through her veins whenever he touched her. The sensation was too intense, especially as they were both in a confined space. With trembling fingers she fumbled with the door and opened it. "Come on then." She said shakily, not knowing how else to break the moment. "Let's go and face them."

"Thank you." Jacob replied. He gave her an encouraging smile as he opened his own door and exited the truck.

Bella was shaking, she jumped when Jacob took hold of her hand. He squeezed her fingers with his own. "It's going to be alright. I'm right here."

Bella nodded, her voice deserting her once again. She followed behind him as he led her into the house.

* * *

The hostility was coming off of the pack in waves when they entered the house. Bella kept behind Jacob, using him as a shield. She felt his hand tighten on hers as he took her over to the sofa and sat down on it, pulling her to sit beside him. She kept her eyes lowered, unable to stand the intense scrutiny.

"Well as you can see she's herself again." Jacob declared, his voice sounding loud in the tense atmosphere.

"Is she?" Sam questioned, he walked over to them both and hunkered down in front of Bella. She shrank back a little, using her long hair to hide her face.

"Back off Sam." Jacob warned him.

Sam ignored him. "Look at me Bella Cullen."

Jacob growled, but Sam shot him a dark look. Bella didn't raise her head. He had used the wrong name. "I said look at me, Bella." He said again.

This time she did raise her head. Her whole frame trembled as she forced herself to meet his eyes. Sam studied her carefully, taking in the pale skin, brown eyes and the familiar human scent. He could smell the fear coming from her and he was satisfied. "Are you back to how you were?" His tone was more gentle this time.

"I told you Sam, she is." Jacob interjected angrily.

"No actually, I'm not." Bella mumbled, making everyone in the room stare at her.

"What do you mean exactly? You look and smell human." Sam demanded.

Bella shook again, her fingers sinking into the palm of Jacob's hand as she tried to keep control over her fear. She raised her other hand and tapped her head. "I mean up here." She whispered.

Sam looked to Jacob for clarification. "What does she mean?"

Jacob glanced at Bella, asking for her permission to tell them about her struggles. She nodded her acquiescence before burying her head in his shoulder, unable to bear the curious stares any longer.

"Why don't I take Bella outside for a moment?" The tall girl who had interceded earlier offered.

Sam glanced at her in surprise. "Why would you do that?"

"Because unlike you Neanderthals I can see she is freaking out. What about it Swan?" The girl looked at her enquiringly.

Bella pulled her head out from Jacob's shoulder and nodded, grateful to the girl for offering her a way of escape. She wished she could recall her name. The girl smiled at her wryly, seeming once again to understand that she was struggling. "My name is Leah, that doofus over there is my brother, Seth. The others are Paul, Jared, Embry and Sam." She gave the latter a meaningful glance as she said his name.

"You can go outside, but don't wander far." Sam warned Leah.

Leah just snorted. "Whatever." She walked out of the house, not bothering to wait for Bella to follow.

Bella looked at Jacob for a moment. "Go on." He urged her. "But do as Sam says and don't wander too far."

"I promise." Bella felt him squeeze her hand as she went outside to join Leah.

* * *

"What's wrong with her?" Sam asked when she was out of earshot. "She doesn't seem like the Bella I remember."

Jacob sat back and sighed. "She's not. I thought when we brought her back she would be exactly like she was before, but she's not. For the last few weeks she's been struggling to understand who she was and who she is now. For a time she didn't remember much about her past life as Bella Swan, but gradually bits and pieces have been coming back to her."

Sam frowned. "The elders never mentioned that. You mean she is literally starting all over again?"

"In a way. Every new emotion she feels, whether it be sadness, anger or happiness seems to be multiplied tenfold. She finds it overwhelming at times. Bella is having to learn to be human again." Jacob admitted.

"How sad." Seth said sympathetically. "But so understandable. I mean she was a cold one for nearly a decade, to suddenly be human again, who can say how any of us would handle it."

Jacob gave him a grateful look.

"Are you all really going to believe this bullshit? The girl played you all before and she's doing it again. One thing the leech lover was good as was manipulation." Paul spat sarcastically.

Jacob was on his feet instantly, his arms shaking. "Why don't you just shut the fuck up Lahote? Haven't you already done enough damage to this pack because of your runaway mouth? Quil's gone because of you." He roared.

"Break it up, both of you." Sam commanded. "Paul keep quiet unless you have something constructive to say and Jacob stop being so confrontational when you hear something you don't like. You know there is a kernel of truth in what Paul said, Bella did sometimes manipulate people, especially you."

Jacob glared at his Alpha, trying to go against his Alpha order, but he was unable to, he sat back down on the sofa, shooting dark glances at Paul.

"But we don't know this Bella." Embry suddenly said. "Before we go judging her, perhaps we should get to know her again. If what Jake says is true, she is having to start over. That would be hard for anyone."

Everyone looked his way, but he wasn't in the least intimidated. He could see Sam thinking over his suggestion. "What does everyone else think?" He asked in the end.

"I think it's a good suggestion." Seth agreed straight away. "I always liked Bella, she was a brave person."

"You would say that." Jared replied grudgingly. "But yes I think it is a good idea."

"Paul?" Sam raised his eyebrows at him.

"I'm outnumbered again anyway." Was all he said.

"And how do you feel about that Jake?" Sam checked with him.

"I think it's a good idea." Jacob gave his assent. "Although I think it would be polite to ask Bells how she feels about it, don't you?"

"Yes, we haven't forgotten our manners." Sam retorted. "Seth go and bring Leah and Bella back in here."

Seth sped off quickly to do as he was bid. Everyone waited impatiently for his return. After five minutes had passed and he wasn't back, Jacob got up and left to check what was taking him so long. He left the house and scanned the immediate area, he couldn't see either Seth,Leah or Bella. Where the hell were they? He was just considering phasing when he saw Seth finally emerge from the trees, he was in his wolf form. When he noticed Jacob the sandy wolf phased back and Seth quickly pulled on his shorts, before jogging the rest of the way back to Jacob.

"Where are they?" Jacob demanded, his heart hammering loudly in his chest. "Where has your damn sister taken Bella? Sam warned her to stay close."

Seth cowered slightly under Jacob's anger. "I don't know." He confessed. "Lee must have phased. I detected Bella and Lee's scent right up until the tree line, then it was just my sister's. So I phased to ask Lee to come back, but she wasn't phased herself then. I tried to track her but I lost the scent about a mile in the forest. I'm sorry Jake I have no idea where they are."

Jacob's whole body shook as he stared desperately at Seth, he didn't bother to answer him before suddenly phasing into his wolf form. Seth watched as Jacob's large russet wolf thundered toward the trees, tearing up great big chunks of earth as he went in pursuit of Leah and Bella.

_**A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Raw**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you all for the kind reviews.**_

**Part Seven-The Result of Thoughtlessness**

Bella followed Leah out of the house, breathing in the fresh air. It had been cloying inside the house with so many others staring at her. She knew the interrogation could have been worse, but she still felt uneasy. She raised her head and looked at Leah; she found the other girl was scrutinising her carefully. The friendly expression she had been wearing inside the house had vanished, and now she was frowning.

"You really think you have everyone fooled, don't you, Swan?" Leah spat sarcastically. "Well you don't fool me."

Bella shrank back against the side of the house. She stared at Leah with fearful eyes. "I'm not fooling anyone." She whispered.

Leah put her hands on her hips and strode forward so she was towering above Bella. "I never understood why Jake has fought so hard to get you back. All you have ever done is hurt people and ruin lives. I never wanted to help bring you back, but I have to follow the Alpha so as usual my choice was taken away."

"I'm sorry." Bella whimpered, fear making her voice tremble.

"You are so weak." Leah sneered. "Jake and the rest of us will be so much better off if you disappeared permanently."

"What are you going to do?" Bella pressed her back against the wall as she gazed up at the other girl.

"You'll see. Get up." Leah caught the back of Bella's shirt and hauled her onto her feet. She then made her walk in front of her as they headed toward the trees.

Bella kept glancing back at Leah, she could see the other girl was becoming distracted, her frown had deepened and she was staring at the ground in front of her. They were getting nearer to the trees and Bella was becoming more panicked. She didn't want to go into the forest. With one last glance at Leah she tried to bolt. She didn't get far, her natural clumsiness kicked in and her feet slid on the muddy ground. Bella cried out as she fell down, her head hitting the hard ground and knocking her out cold.

"You stupid girl." Leah cried out as she fell to her knees and checked Bella over. "I was only testing you. I wasn't actually going to do anything." She shook Bella a little but she didn't wake up. "Damn it, they are all going to kill me."

Leah sat next to Bella for a few moments wondering what to do, hoping that she would just wake up, but she remained comatose. There was a cut on her head that was bleeding profusely, it looked like it needed stitches. "Stay right there." Leah said unnecessarily to Bella. "I need to get my car." She quickly ran into the trees, stripped down, phased and headed for home.

Leah reached her house within a couple of minutes, she phased back and quickly got dressed again. Her heart was beating fast in her chest as she got into her car and started the engine, the wheels tearing up the earth as she drove back to where she had left Bella.

* * *

Jacob missed the tire tracks that were pressed into the earth, he was too wound up and frightened to really check everything carefully. He managed to track Leah better then Seth, it seemed that she had leapt over some rocks, effectively cutting off her scent for a few meters, but luckily Jacob found it again and followed it all the way to her house. Why had she come back here and where was Bella? He phased back into his human form and ran over to the house, pounding his fist against the door and yelling Leah's name. There was no response. Jacob clutched at his hair in despair, desperately trying to figure out what had happened. His eyes scanned the area and that is when he finally saw the tire tracks leading from the Clearwater's house and back toward the dirt track.

Jacob quickly followed, sprinting as fast as he could, following the tyre impressions all the way back to the spot he had originally started from. Now he smelt Bella and also blood. His eyes widened as he saw some blood spatter on the ground. His heart became painful in his chest as he realized Bella had been hurt. He couldn't believe that Leah would have hurt Bella in any way so something else must have happened. She must have used her car to transport Bella somewhere and that had to be the hospital. Jacob ran back to his house to tell his brothers what he thought had happened.

* * *

Bella's eyes fluttered open, only to shut again as the bright light overhead burned her pupils. She flung her arm over her head. Panic began to set in as she was flung back into the past when she was first bitten by James. The same thing had happened then, she hadn't been able to see, the light had hurt her eyes and there was pain in her head.

"Help me." She sobbed. "Please, help me."

"Bella calm down." Two strong arms held her down as she began to thrash about. "Open your eyes."

"I can't." Bella cried out. "Help me."

"What's going on here?" Another voice that Bella didn't recognize sounded beside her. "Release her at once."

"She's having a fit. I'm trying to keep her still." The female said again.

"You are making the poor girl more distressed. I want you to leave right now before I call security." The male voice demanded.

"Fine. I'll wait outside." Bella heard a door open and slam.

"Mrs, Cullen." Bella felt a light hand on her arm. "It's alright now. Can you open your eyes for me?"

"They hurt." Bella moaned.

"You have been unconscious Bella. You received a nasty cut on your head, that's why it hurts, but you are all stitched up now. Come on open your eyes." The male voice was soothing.

Bella forced her eyes to open, she had turned her head this time so the lights weren't shining in them. A man swam into view wearing a white coat. He had a stethoscope slung around his neck. He gave her a kind smile. "Are you a doctor?" Bella mumbled.

"Yes, I'm Doctor Daniel Myers." He introduced himself.

"I'm Bella Swan." Bella smiled at him weakly.

"Swan? I thought it was Cullen?" Daniel Myers questioned her. "That's the name you kept mumbling when you started to come round. The receptionist recognized the surname. We used to have a Doctor who worked here with that name. Carlisle Cullen, he was a very good man. We still had a contact number for him so we gave him a call. I spoke to your husband, Edward? He was so relieved to hear that you were okay. You have been missing and they were looking for you. Don't worry my dear, he is on his way to collect you."

Bella froze, her fingers digging into the stiff hospital sheets. "You called my husband?"

"Yes. Now don't stress. I've given you some painkillers so you may feel a little drowsy for a while." The Doctor began to write down some notes on Bella's chart.

"Who brought me here?" Bella asked.

"Oh another female, she has quite a temper. I had to order her to leave. Is she the one that did this to you?" Daniel Myers looked at her enquiringly.

"No." Bella whispered. "Can I see her please?"

"Are you sure you want to?" Daniel Myers said disapprovingly.

Bella nodded. "Please."

"Fine." The doctor placed her chart at the end of the bed and left, calling Leah into the room. "I'll be back soon to check on you." He gave Leah a dark look before leaving her alone with Bella.

"Why the hell did you pull a screaming fit like that Swan?" Leah demanded. "Isn't it bad enough that Jake is going to bite my ass for you being in here in the first place, you have to go and draw more attention to yourself."

"How did I get in here?" Bella felt confused, her head was spinning and she felt drowsy.

A guilty look crossed Leah's attractive face. "I only meant to test you and see if you really were telling Jake the truth and not toying with him again. He has been through enough. Why did you run like that?"

Bella put her hand on her head. "I don't remember running." She mumbled. "I need to get out of here."

"You have to wait until the Doctor signs the release papers. I really should ring Jake and let him know what happened. He's probably going ape shit right about now." Leah ran a hand through her hair in agitation.

"No you don't understand." Bella said weakly, her eyes beginning to close as the meds kicked in. "The doctor he called Edward..."

"Edward?" Leah gasped. "Fuck no."

Bella's eyes flared open again as she fought to stay awake. "We have to get out of here...help me get out of...here."

"You really don't want to go back to him, do you?" For the first time Leah's voice was gentle.

Bella shook her head slowly. Leah finally sprang into action, as gently as she could she slid her arm under Bella's neck and lifted her upright. Bella whimpered as her head spun. "Are you okay?" Leah checked.

"Yes, hurry." With Leah's help, Bella slid to the edge of the bed and leaned against the other girl as she stood upright.

Leah slipped her arm around Bella's waist and half carried her out of the room and into the corridor. She glanced left and right to make sure they weren't seen before heading toward the entrance of the hospital.

* * *

The patients in the waiting room all turned to stare in delight as six half naked, tall and muscular young men walked into the hospital. The nurses at the reception desk began to whisper to each other and take bets on who got to speak to them. Jacob was accosted by a blonde nurse as he approached the desk.

"Can I help you?" She purred.

"Yeah." He said distractedly. "I'm inquiring whether a female has been brought in here recently."

The nurse gave him a kind smile. "An elderly relative is it?"

"No. My girlfriend, Bella Swan." Jacob said impatiently. He glanced to the side to see that Paul was flirting with one of the other nurses. He watched as Paul stuffed a bit of paper with her phone number in his pocket. "Ass." He muttered under his breath.

The nurse frowned when he said girlfriend. She looked up the name Bella Swan on the computer but came up blank. "No, I can't see that name registered here. I'm sorry."

"Are you certain? Can you check again?" Jacob urged her, feeling his stomach churn. He had been so certain that Leah would have brought her here.

"I can assure you that I have checked the database and there is no patient with that name." The nurse said again.

"Hey Jake." Embry suddenly tugged on his arm. "She's there with Lee, look."

Jacob whipped around to see Leah, with her arm wrapped around Bella to keep her upright, approaching. His heart leapt for joy as he took off and ran over to them. He immediately pulled Bella away from Leah and picked her up in his arms, bridal style. All the female patients watching sighed as they pictured themselves being swept up into his arms too. They envied the pale girl enormously. The pack surrounded them all to keep prying eyes away, they quickly exited the hospital and were relieved to be out in the fresh air again.

As soon as they were out of earshot of other people Jacob began to question Leah. "What the hell happened?"

"She fell and hit her head." Leah said quickly. "So I brought her here."

"Why didn't you come back inside the house and tell me?" Jacob was getting angrier by the second.

Sam put a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down. We'll do this somewhere more private. We are attracting too much attention here."

"This is not over Leah." Jacob warned her.

Leah tried to look as if she didn't care, but failed badly. She knew she had screwed up."Fine." She muttered.

"Jake." Bella said weakly. "I need to tell you something."

"Hush honey, it's okay. You're safe now. Lets get you home." He kissed the top of her head.

"No you don't understand..." Bella whimpered as fresh pain flashed through her skull.

"What, Bells?" Jacob looked at her worriedly.

"It's Edward..."

"Edward? What about him?" Jacob tried to keep his voice calm.

Before Bella could reply Leah spoke for her. "The hospital contacted him. Apparently he is on his way here." She confessed, unable to look any of her brothers in the eye.

_**A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Raw**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the awesome reviews!**_

**Part Eight-The Truth Comes Out**

Jacob drove Leah's car back home. She refused to travel back with them, knowing that she was the cause of all the recent drama. The last thing she needed was to be with Jacob in a confined space. Jacob kept glancing at Bella to see if she was okay. Her eyes were closed as she slumped awkwardly in the passenger seat. He was just so relieved to have her back safe. It didn't take long before they reached the house, he parked up and slipped out of the car. Bella opened her eyes when the car stopped moving, she managed to open the door, but her head was reeling and she just didn't have the energy to get out of the car.

"Are you alright, honey?" Jacob gently slipped his arm around her and lifted her again.

"My head hurts, Jake." Bella mumbled.

"I know, Bells. Lets get you inside." Jacob hurriedly opened the door and carried Bella over to the couch, her eyes were already closing again. He sat down and cuddled her onto his lap, her head rested on his shoulder. "Are you comfortable like that?"

Bella let out a soft sigh. His warm arms made her feel safe, she snuggled closer to his body, the painkillers were making her feel very drowsy. "I'll just have a little sleep."

"Okay." Jacob stroked her hair over and over as he watched her fall into a deep sleep. It had been a stressful day in so many ways. The beginning when he had fallen apart because he thought she had abandoned him, then to find out she had been with Charlie the whole time, the impromptu shopping trip had lightened both their moods, only for them to return and find the pack waiting for them. Now Leah's foolish stunt had made things worse. Cullen would now know where his wife had gone and when he saw that she was human again, there was no telling what his reaction would be. One thing was for certain though, if Edward tried to take Bella away, he would not hesitate to kill him.

* * *

The front door was opened carefully as one by one the pack trailed in. They all made themselves comfortable in the available chairs, only Sam and Leah remained standing. "How is she?" Sam asked in a low voice.

"The meds the doctor gave her have knocked her out." Jacob replied. Bella was so deeply asleep that he didn't bother to whisper.

Sam nodded. "Lee has something she wants to say to you."

Jacob's eyes narrowed. "This, I have to hear."

Leah approached him awkwardly. She still avoided his eye, a rare expression of shame crossing her face. "I'm sorry for what I did. I know this is no excuse but my intention was only to make sure that she wasn't playing you again."

"No, you're right it isn't an excuse and Bells isn't playing games." Jacob retorted.

"I know that now. You should have seen her face when she found out Edward was coming for her. She was petrified." Leah confessed. "What are you going to do when he gets here?"

"Send him packing." Jacob replied coldly.

"What if he won't leave without Bella?" Seth interjected.

"Then I'll kill him." Jacob vowed.

The others all exchanged dubious looks. Sam came over to stand by Leah as she looked down at Bella. "You would violate the treaty if you did that." He reminded Jacob.

"Fuck the treaty." Jacob seethed. "That leech broke it when he changed Bells."

"It was her choice to be changed." Sam replied.

Jacob locked eyes with his Alpha, his arms tightening around Bella. "Was it?"

"That's what she always insisted she wanted, Jake." Embry interjected. "You know it."

Jacob frowned as unwanted memories of his past conversations with Bella resounded in his head.

"_You're still you." Jacob gave Bella a small smile as he leaned against his motorbike._

_Bella couldn't meet his eyes. She stared at her feet, her long hair hiding her face from him. "Until graduation." _

"_Graduation?" Jacob's questioned her, feeling his stomach churn._

"_You knew this was going to happen, Jake." Bella peered up at him from under her long lashes, flinching as she saw the horror on his face._

"_Not in a month, not before I..." Jacob kicked out at the bike in anger, making it fall to the garage floor with a crash._

_Bella shrank away from him, scared by his anger. "Edward was right, I shouldn't have come."_

"Jake?" Sam snapped his fingers in front of his face, bringing him back into the moment. "You zoned out on us."

Jacob shook his head trying to clear it. There was no denying the truth, Bella had wanted to be changed, or so she had kept insisting. But was there another reason behind her determination to end her life. On other days, when it had just been the two of them, he remembered she had been full of life, happy. It was only when the leech had come back into her life that she had changed, seemingly hell bent on ending her humanity to be by his side. Had she been under Cullen's influence? He had never been sure. He used to think she split herself in half, giving each of them the side of her they had wanted to see. When she was with him she was his Bells, when she returned to Cullen, she became quiet and reserved, her playful fun side would disappear as she tried to morph into the person that Edward had expected her to be.

"Jacob, you did it again." Sam said impatiently. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

Jacob looked at Bella thoughtfully, he began stroking her hair again, causing her to huddle closer to him. "My Jacob." She mumbled in her sleep.

"I don't think she really knew what she wanted, Sam." Jacob told him. "Bells always had low self esteem and I think Cullen played on that and used it to his advantage. It gave him more control over her. Bells was never afraid to tell me what she thought, she would laugh, joke and argue with me, but him...never. I've had a long time to mull over why she chose to marry him and I think she was coerced into it. He played on her guilt, I think she was worried what he might do if she didn't go along with things. She never said outright, but I know his suicide attempt really shook her up. I could never get her to open up about what really happened in Italy."

Sam pulled up a chair and spun it round so he was straddling it, his arms leaning on the backrest. "If you asked her now, would she remember?"

"I don't know." Jacob kissed the top of her head. "She is beginning to recall some things. The other night she..." he stopped speaking, wondering whether to reveal Bella's breakdown and the self hatred she had shown towards her past self.

"It's alright, Jake. We're your brothers," Sam gave him a half smile. "Despite some of the things we may come out with, you always have our full support and you can trust us."

"I know." Jacob returned his smile. "Bells remembered a few things about her past and it really shook her up. She called herself a liar and manipulator. It was heartbreaking to witness."

"I can imagine." Leah's voice was soft as she studied Bella. "In the hospital while she was unconscious, Bella had some sort of episode. I think she was remembering some kind of attack. I had to hold her down, she was really freaking out."

Bella began to shift around on Jacob's lap as she finally woke up. She opened her eyes and peered blearily around at everyone. When she took in all the eyes focused on her, she shrank back against Jacob, hiding her face against his neck. "It's alright, honey." He said soothingly.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself Bella raised her head and forced herself to meet their eyes. To her surprise the hostility from before was missing. She could now detect a hint of sympathy on their faces, even Paul's. Leah came up to her and knelt down. "I want to say I'm sorry. What I did was out of order."

Bella gave her a weak smile. "I probably deserved it."

"Actually no, you didn't." Leah stood back up and rejoined Sam.

Sam took over the conversation. "I know you've had a long day, Bella but if you are up for it, we have a few questions."

"Not now." Jacob cuddled Bella close. "She's been through enough."

"I'm alright, Jake." Bella assured him. Whatever they wanted to know she would rather get their questions over with. "Go on."

Sam rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, wondering what was the best way to broach the subject. There really wasn't one, so he decided to be blunt. "Why were you so desperate for Cullen to change you?"

Bella felt like she had been punched in the gut, all the air left her lungs. She hadn't expected to be asked that. Her vision went black as she began to hyperventilate, from far away she heard Jacob urging her to breathe, but she couldn't seem to make her lungs work. She drifted into unconsciousness.

_She was lying on the Cullen's white sofa, everything in the house was so immaculate, she was often worried that she would dirty some of the furniture by accident, everything was too pristine. Bella never felt entirely comfortable in the Cullen's mansion. The honeymoon was over, if you could call it that. Nothing much had happened between them, Edward was still too afraid he couldn't control his blood lust._

_Edward hovered above her, the small vial containing his venom held firmly in his hand. "I'm sorry love. The Volturi have insisted that you have to be changed now. I know that you wanted to wait..."_

_Bella looked up at him sadly as tears of regret rolled down her face. "Can't you tell them that I changed my mind?" She begged him._

_Edward caressed her skin with his cold hand. Bella shivered under his touch. "It's impossible Bella, you know that. They only let us go on the premise that you would be changed." _

"_I thought I had more time." Bella felt her breath hitch as she tried to control her tears. "I don't want this, Edward. Please..." _

"_You know that the Volturi would destroy us all if you refuse, that includes your beloved Jacob and his pack." Edward reminded her. _

_Bella felt nausea wash over her at his words. There was no choice, her human life was over. She closed her eyes and placed one of her hands over her heart. "Just do it, Edward." She said quickly._

_Edward gave a soft sigh as he leaned down and ghosted his lips across her forehead, inhaling her sweet human scent for the last time. He would miss that especially. Picking up a syringe, he placed it in the vial and sucked up a large amount of his venom. He glanced down, Bella still had her eyes closed tightly. Edward gently removed her hand off of her heart and held the syringe above her chest. He heard her murmur 'sorry Jacob' right before he plunged the needle straight into her heart._

"Bells breathe, just breathe." Bella's eyes shot open, she inhaled sharply, her lungs filling up with much needed air. Her head spun for a moment before she was cradled against a warm chest. "It's alright, I've got you."

"What happened?" Sam asked in alarm.

"She had a panic attack." Jacob snapped at him. "I told you she wasn't ready. She's had quite a few of them over the past week."

"Do you think she remembered something? Like in the hospital?" Sam pressed.

"Give it a rest, Sam." Jacob rubbed soothing circles on Bella's back as he rocked her gently. After another few moments she finally got her breathing under control. "Are you okay, Bells?"

She nodded her head. "I'm sorry." She sobbed. "I didn't want it. I had no choice." She babbled.

"No choice?" Bells what do you mean?" Jacob put his hand under her chin and raised her head so she had to look at him.

The other members of the pack drew closer, unconsciously surrounding Jacob and Bella in a protective circle. They heard Bella take a deep breath before she answered.

"I had no choice, I had to be changed. In order to escape in Italy we had to bargain with the Volturi that I would be changed after I married Edward, that was why they let us go. I didn't want it, I begged Edward to try and re-negotiate with them, but he said it was impossible. The Volturi are powerful and would have exacted their revenge on everyone I loved if I broke my promise. That's the reason why I married Edward and that's why I became a vampire." Bella began to cry in earnest as she buried her head in his shoulder, unable to bear the stunned expressions on the faces of the pack.

_**A/N-please let me know what you think, thanks.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Raw**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the lovely reviews.**_

**Part Nine-What Love Means**

They were all still staring at Bella silently, stunned by her latest revelation. It was only a knock on the door that pulled them back into the moment. Bella raised her head, her face red and tear stained. "Oh my god, I think that's my dad."

Jacob grimaced. "I forgot you invited him for dinner."

Bella rubbed her eyes and scrambled off of his lap. "He can't see me like this. Please Jake, stall him." She begged.

Jacob stood up and took her face between his hands. "It's okay, go and wash up. It'll be fine."

"I haven't made any food." Bella said in despair.

"We'll order take out. Now go." Jacob urged her as there was another impatient knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Seth offered.

"Thanks." Jacob said gratefully as he watched Bella flee to the bathroom.

"We should all go. I'm going to arrange patrols along the perimeter, Jake. If we see any sign of the Cullen's we'll let you know." Sam whispered hurriedly.

"Thank you." Jacob said again. Sam ordered the others to make a move as Charlie entered the house, his eyes roaming over everyone suspiciously.

"What's going on here?" He asked.

"Nothing Charlie. I just invited a few friends over to see Bells." Jacob lied smoothly.

"Where is she then?" Charlie was still not mollified as he studied the half naked men filling up the room, even Jake wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Oh, she's just finishing getting ready. We didn't realise the time." Jacob told him apologetically.

"Seems you need to finish getting ready yourself?" Charlie pointed at Jacob's bare chest.

He heard his pack brothers and Leah snickering behind him. He forced a smile on his face. "I'll get right on that." He turned to the others. "Weren't you all leaving?"

Sam tried to keep a straight face. "Yeah. See you later, Jake. Bye Chief Swan."

Charlie watched them all file out of the house, shaking his head as he did so. "Why do you all insist on walking around with no shirts on all of the time? It's freezing out there."

Jacob just shrugged. "We don't feel the cold. But I'll go and put a shirt on now." He quickly left the room, passing by Bella as she came back down the hall. She had washed up and changed into a clean t-shirt and jeans. The stitches on her head stood out, Jacob reached out and touched them gently with his fingers. "Are you okay?"

"I'm trying." She smiled at him weakly. "Where are you going?"

"Your dad insists that I put on a shirt." He said wryly.

"Oh, that sounds like him. Don't be long though."

"I won't." Jacob stroked her cheek gently before backing away down the hall.

Bella took a deep breath and forced a smile onto her face as she went to see her father.

* * *

"What happened to you, kiddo?" Charlie asked in alarm as he saw the line of stitches along the side of Bella's head.

"Oh nothing, I just tripped that's all. Jake took me to the hospital and they stitched me up." Bella was saddened at having to lie to her father yet again; she yearned to be able to tell him the truth. "I'm sorry, it means that I didn't have time to cook though."

"Don't worry about that, kiddo. Why don't I take you both out to the diner? My treat." Charlie offered.

Jacob came back at that point, he joined Bella and took her hand, squeezing it comfortingly. "That's alright, Charlie. I thought I might order some take out instead. I think Bells is feeling a bit too tired to go out."

"I didn't think." Charlie replied. "Did the docs give you some painkillers?"

"Yeah." Bella admitted. "They have washed me out a bit. You don't mind staying here, do you?"

"Not at all." Charlie hugged Bella. "Whatever makes you happy."

Bella felt overwhelmed by his show of emotion, it had been such a long day and she really did feel exhausted. She managed to hug him back briefly before pulling away. "What shall we order?"

"I vote pizza." Jacob suggested.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Charlie said ruefully. "Pizza it is then, as long as you tell them not to put any pepperoni on it."

"Will do." Jacob went over to the phone and began to dial.

* * *

The evening passed pleasantly. Bella let Jacob do most of the talking, he engaged Charlie in a debate about sports. Bella curled up on the couch and rested while she listened to the two men banter. She found it relaxing, the normality soothed her troubled mind and she eventually drifted off into an exhausted sleep.

"She seems to be getting more like herself?" Charlie whispered to Jacob when he noticed she had fallen asleep.

Jacob gazed at her affectionately. "Yeah, she's improving every day."

Charlie saw the love shining in the young man's eyes. "You really love her don't you son?"

Jacob nodded. "I always have." He said honestly, he knew it wasn't worth hiding the truth from Bella's dad.

Charlie put a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks for looking out for her."

"You don't need to thank me. I would do anything for her."

Charlie patted his shoulder. "I better go, I have an early shift in the morning. Can you tell Bells I'll see her tomorrow?"

"Of course. Good night Charlie." Jacob followed the older man outside and watched him climb into the police cruiser. He stood outside and waved him off, waiting until the car was out of sight before heading back inside.

* * *

Bella felt herself being lifted. She opened her eyes and gazed tiredly up at Jacob as he carried her into her room. "I'm sorry I fell asleep." She mumbled.

"Your dad understood." Jacob gently laid her on the bed. Leaning down he kissed her on the top of her head. "Night honey."

Before he could walk away, Bella reached out and caught his hand. "Don't go." She begged him. "I don't want to be on my own."

Jacob hesitated. "Are you sure?"

She nodded, moving over to make room for him on the bed. Jacob lay down next to her and put his arm across her waist, while she curled up into his side. "Is that okay?" He checked.

"Yes." Bella felt her body relax as his warmth surrounded her. She didn't find his touch so overwhelming as she had the first few times, she found herself searching for any excuse to be close to him. The sensations and feelings he was invoking in her made her feel alive.

Jacob gently stroked her hair, running his fingers through the silky strands. "I love you, Bells."

Bella rose up, leaning on her elbow as she stared down into his dark eyes. She felt her heart beating erratically in her chest, as she tried to sort through her whirling emotions. Love? Such a short word that held so much meaning. How could she be sure that what she was experiencing when she was around Jacob was love? She had thought at one time she had been in love with Edward, but now she knew her feelings for him had been a passing infatuation; he was the mysterious boy at school that every girl wanted, and she, plain Bella Swan had been the one to capture his interest. His attention had stroked her fragile ego.

"Tell me how it feels to love, Jake?" She begged him.

Jacob cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand as he gazed up at her. "For me loving you means that every thought that passes through my mind always comes back to you. Everything you do or say touches me here." He pressed his hand over his heart. "I can't bear to be away from you and I miss you every moment we're not together. I fancy you rotten..."

Bella smiled as he said that. He grinned back at her, using his thumb to trace the upward curve of her lips. "But really honey I can't define exactly what it is that makes me feel the way I do about you." He continued. "I just love you and that's it."

Taking a deep breath, Bella slowly inclined her head towards him, she kept her eyes on his the whole time, until her mouth was hovering just above his. "Can I kiss you?"

Jacob was riveted by the look in her beautiful brown eyes. He seemed to have lost control over his voice so he nodded his head instead. He closed his eyes and waited. He felt her breath fan across his skin before she lightly pressed her lips onto his. A jolt of intense desire shot through him, but he forced himself to remain still, letting her take the lead.

Bella pulled back for a few seconds as she studied his beloved face. He was so handsome, kind and he had the most beautiful smile. She leaned down again and kissed him, this time a little more firmly. His mouth began to move with hers, slowly and sensuously. Fire shot through Bella's veins as she felt his hand skim along her back until he reached her waist. This time she didn't stop him as he gently lifted the end of her t-shirt and slid his hand underneath. Her breath hitched as his fingers touched her hypersensitive skin and she unconsciously pressed closer, her breasts rubbing against his chest as she continued to kiss him.

Jacob's lips left her mouth as he began to kiss the soft skin of her throat. She gasped as his tongue touched her skin lightly and, his hand which was caressing her back, pulled her closer. His warmth enveloped her and for the first time in weeks, Bella let her mind shut down and allowed her body's natural reactions take over. Jacob's lips had now reached her collarbone and he was teasing her, driving her crazy as he began to slowly tug at the bottom of her t-shirt with his other hand. He pulled away briefly, hesitating as he looked into her liquid eyes for permission. Bella pushed his hands away from her and sat up, pulling the t-shirt over her head, her long hair cascading over her shoulders like a vibrant waterfall.

"You're so beautiful." Jacob said huskily as he stared up at her in wonder.

"So are you." Bella's voice trembled as she spoke, her breath coming in short pants.

Jacob smiled at her lovingly as he suddenly sat up and pulled his own t-shirt off, throwing it onto the floor. Bella's eyes travelled over his upper body, drinking in his perfection. His tan skin glowed in the soft light cast by the bedside lamp, defining his muscles. She tentatively reached out and touched him, tracing her fingers along his hot skin, smiling as she heard his breathing speed up too. Suddenly feeling daring she bent down and began to kiss her way along his chest, copying him by using her tongue to trace light circles on his skin.

Jacob tangled his hand in her hair as he pulled her up his body so that their lips met again, the kisses they shared this time were much more passionate and he rolled over onto his side, worried that Bella would feel just how turned on he was and pull back. They made out for a while, just like the teenagers they had never been allowed to be. Slowly Bella's exhaustion began to creep up on her again. Jacob could sense she was tiring as her lips moved much more slowly against his. He shared one last intense kiss with her before cuddling her into his side.

"Night Bells." He whispered.

"Night Jake." Bella murmured as she closed her eyes, her head resting on his chest. For the first time in weeks she slept peacefully through the night.

_**A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Raw**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you so much for the lovely reviews. **_

**Part Ten-Edward, Ugh :(**

They were woken by the sound of frantic knocking on the door. Jacob was immediately on the alert. He untangled himself from Bella and swiftly got out of bed. "Get dressed honey and stay here." He told her. He quickly touched her cheek as she looked up at him fearfully.

Bella watched him leave the room and head down the hallway to answer the door. She slipped off of the bed and did as he asked. She hunted around for her abandoned t-shirt and quickly yanked it over her head. Not knowing what else to do she perched on the end of the bed and waited for Jacob to return, her hands twisting nervously in her lap.

Jacob answered the door to find Embry waiting for him. "He's here, Jake." He informed him.

"Already?" Jacob couldn't believe it. "Where?"

"Cullen and the little pixie are at the treaty line right now. He is demanding to see Bella." Embry said quickly. "Sam and the others are still with them. He sent me here to fetch you and Bella."

Jacob narrowed his eyes. "I will not let that scum near her. I need you to stay with her Embry while I go and confront him."

"Of course I will." Embry followed Jacob back into the house as he went back to the bedroom to tell Bella what was happening.

* * *

Jacob found Bella sitting on the edge of the bed, her face was pale and she was twisting her hands in her lap. He knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his own. "Cullen is here, Bells. He's at the treaty line right now."

Bella's hands shook in his. "I can't believe it. This is all happening too fast. I wanted more time."

"Hush, I'll sort everything out. You just need to stay here and..."

Bella shook her head vehemently. "No. I have to face him."

"You don't need to. Em will stay here with you while I'm gone." Jacob tried to reassure her.

"I do need to see him, Jake." Bella said softly. "I need to tell him myself that I want him out of my life and that I'm staying here with you."

"Bells you know what Cullen is like, he is manipulative. I have every right to take him down for blackmailing you into going ahead with the change." Jacob's anger rose just thinking about it. He would get pleasure ripping Edward's head from his body.

"You can't do that." Bella stated adamantly.

"Why not?" Jacob said sharply. It felt like the old days when she was always defending the leech.

"Because you would end up causing another confrontation with his family that could escalate out of control. As peaceful as Carlisle claims to be, he will exact revenge against you if Edward is harmed. Underneath his veneer of kindliness Carlisle can be ruthless when he wants to be. No vampire is completely peaceful, he may get a kick out of healing humans when he plays doctor, but I've seen another side to him you don't want to challenge. It was no accident that he stayed with the Volturi for over a decade." Bella pleaded with Jacob, trying to make him understand.

"Are you certain about this?" Jacob could not wrap his head around the fact that the doctor, who had been so polite and seemingly understanding in the past, could really be so ruthless.

Bella nodded. "He claims to loathe changing humans into vampires, yet he was selfish enough to turn Edward, Rosalie and Esme to create a family for himself. I only found out after I was changed just how Esme became his mate. When Edward was first turned he had uncontrollable blood lust, you remember the newborns don't you?"

"Yes." Jacob flinched at the memory.

"The first human Edward killed was Esme's husband, Charles Evenson. The shock of his death sent her into a downward spiral. She lost her baby and tried to kill herself, that's when Carlisle changed her. Carlisle wanted Esme for himself which meant getting rid of her human husband. Edward was the perfect tool for the job." Bella's voice trembled as she spoke, her memories of the ten years spent with the Cullen's returning. "I felt so sick when I found this out, but as time passed and my human emotions faded, I became as cold and unfeeling as all of them."

Jacob felt his own nausea rising in his throat. He didn't want to ask Bella but he needed to know. It had simply never occurred to him that she too might have not been able to control her thirst when she had first been turned. "Did you..."

"NO." Bella replied fiercely. "I know what you are going to ask. I never harmed a human or drank human blood. It never affected me. I don't know why. I was Carlisle's pet project for a while as he tried to figure out why it never happened to me."

Jacob felt relief wash over him at her denial. "I'm sorry I should have known."

"It's okay. But you understand now why I'm warning you not to do anything to Edward. Let me convince him to leave, please." Bella begged again.

"I still can't believe that about the Doctor, out of all of them he seemed the most sincere." Jacob said in disbelief.

"That's his power, Jake. Edward can read minds, Carlisle is able to endear himself to people. It's how he has managed to travel the world, not being stuck in one place like most vampires. He even charmed the Volturi, not an easy thing to do. When James attacked me, Carlisle was not the one who sucked the venom back out of my blood stream, he forced Edward to do it, even though he knew my blood called to him. Carlisle could have easily done it himself, he has immense restraint. He was testing Edward to see how he would cope, whether I survived or not was irrelevant. He just wanted to know." Bella admitted. It was the first time she had admitted this to anyone before. The memory of James' attack when she was in the hospital had opened the flood gate of her memories. What she did recall frightened her. "Carlisle is dangerous, you have to tread carefully with Edward."

Jacob slowly nodded. "Do you think you can convince him to go? Would he even listen?"

Bella sighed. "I hope so. Our marriage was floundering when I left to meet you. Maybe this will be a resolution for both of us. I am human again, it's not like I could ever live amongst them again. I have already paid my debt to the Volturi."

"I don't like this, Bells." Jacob said worriedly.

"There is no other way." Bella replied sadly.

Jacob pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. "If he does try and take you, I will still kill him Bells, no matter the consequences."

Bella didn't reply as she hugged him back just as tightly.

* * *

Embry was surprised to see Bella and Jacob coming out together holding hands. "What's happening?" He asked in confusion.

"Bells is coming too." Jacob admitted.

"But I thought..."

"I need to do this." Bella interrupted him. "It's the best way."

"Honey can you go wait in the truck for me?" Jacob asked her.

Bella gave him a weak smile. She knew that he was going to tell Embry about the conversation they had just had. That way while he drove her to the treaty line, Embry would be able to relay the information to Sam and the others so they would not be taken by surprise. Before she left to go outside she remembered one other bit of information.

"Tell everyone to count backwards in their heads." Bella advised. "It really messes with Edward's mind if he is trying to read a certain persons thoughts. If everyone does it together it gets too confusing for him."

"We'll let then know. Thanks honey." Jacob kissed her on the head gently.

Bella bid goodbye to Embry and left the two of them alone to talk.

* * *

Embry was shocked at what he heard. "And she didn't find any of this out until after she was changed?"

"No." Jacob admitted. "She was disgusted when she found out, but by then it was all too late."

"Those vamps are sicker than we knew. Sam is going to be pissed. I wish we could just take them down." Embry's fists clenched at the thought.

"Believe me nothing would give me greater pleasure then ripping off Edward's head, but Bells is adamant that it could cause more trouble then we need. I think we have all been through enough." Jacob reminded him.

"I know." Embry ran a hand through his hair. "I'll go and head back to the treaty line. See you both there."

Jacob nodded. He followed his friend out of the house, locking up behind him. He just hoped the next time he returned home it would be just him and Bella, with Edward out of her life for good.

* * *

Jacob parked the truck a few feet away from the treaty line, he turned to look at Bella, she was staring straight ahead, her face paler then normal; an unreadable expression on her face. He took her hand and was shocked at how cold it felt. He used his fingers to rub hers to get the circulation flowing. Up ahead they could see the pack, all of them, apart from Sam were phased. They stood in a line, shielding Edward and Alice from view.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jacob checked.

Bella nodded. "I have to." Her insides were squirming. The thought of seeing Edward again made her feel nauseous. She felt weak and insignificant, her emotions once again taking their toll on her.

Jacob could see she was struggling, but they were here now and Cullen had to be faced. He jumped down from the truck and quickly ran round to the other side and assisted her down. He put his arm around her shoulders. She huddled into his side, her body trembling. She could feel the beginnings of a panic attack and so began to breathe the way Jacob had taught her to stem the tide.

They slowly walked forward, taking their time so Bella had time to regain her composure. As they approached the wolves parted like flowing water to let them through, immediately surrounding them in a protective circle when they were finally face to face with Edward and Alice. Sam stepped back, letting Jacob and Bella take the lead.

Bella raised her head and finally looked at her husband. Time had dulled her memories of him, but seeing him again in the flesh stunned her. He looked exactly the same, his thick bronze hair was immaculately styled, his white skin made his golden eyes stand out; there were dark circles underneath, a clear sign he needed to hunt. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his designer jacket. Next to him stood his sibling Alice. Her black hair was cut in a short pixie crop, she too was dressed in designer clothes, her face heavily made up. She gave Bella a searching look. Bella knew that Alice was trying to look into her future, but with the pack in attendance, it blocked her attempts.

Edward stepped forward slightly, his eyes riveted on Bella. She felt like he was seeing right into her soul. He gave her the familiar crooked smile that he thought was so captivating. She heard him inhale and it made her blood run cold. He had always been attracted to the call of her blood. It took all her courage to remain still and not run off screaming.

"I never thought I would get to see the blush on your cheeks again, love." Edward said, his voice calm as if they were just passing the time of day.

Bella heard Jacob growl, she put a hand on his chest to quieten him. "You've had a wasted journey Edward. As you can clearly see I am not the Bella that you married. There is no reason for you to be here. We would like you to leave now."

Edward raised his eyebrows, the smile leaving his lips as he turned his eyes onto Jacob. "We? Are you implying that you are in a relationship with him?"

"Yes." Bella decided to be blunt. "Please go now."

"How did you manage it?" Edward studied Jacob, his eyes narrowing as he tried to read Jacob's mind. "I see that Bella has told you about the number trick."

"You heard her." Jacob said coldly, his natural instinct was urging him to phase and rip Edward to pieces, but with Bella's warning ringing in his ears he had to show restraint and not let the leech wind him up. "Leave."

Edward ignored Jacob and turned his eyes back onto Bella. She shrank back a little under his intense scrutiny. "You have your life back. My Bella is back."

"Your Bella ceased to exist the day you plunged the needle full of venom into my heart." She retorted, her anguish at the memory making her anger override the panic.

Edward's expression became sorrowful. He reached out to touch Bella's face, but Jacob growled again, stepping in front of her, giving Edward a warning look. "I had no choice about that, Bella. You knew the situation we were all in."

"Created by you." Bella told him. "And you Alice."

Alice gasped at this accusation. "I was only thinking of my brother, Bella. You know that."

"You should re-think your loyalties, they may get you killed one day." Bella said bitterly. "Does Jasper know you are here?"

Alice's silence was the only answer Bella needed. She gave her a grim smile. "I thought not, he always disliked Edward and it sickens him to see you so under his influence."

"Bella." Edward reprimanded her. "What are you talking about? I do not have any influence over anyone. I came here to collect you, but I see you have already been infected by the dog's poisonous lies. You always did let your guilt over him cloud your judgement."

"You pompous son of a bitch." Jacob yelled at him. The wolves began to growl, edging closer as they could feel Jacob's anger rising. Sam had to order them to remain in place before things got out of hand.

Edward glared at Jacob. "Does she know what a liar you are, Jacob Black? You are not so good at hiding your thoughts as you think."

"I haven't lied about anything." Jacob turned to look at Bella, she was staring at him, confusion written all over her face.

Edward could see he had infected Bella with doubts. He pressed on, certain now that he had found a chink in Jacob's armour. "Shall I tell her or do you want the pleasure?"

"Edward what do you mean?" Alice was bewildered too. She had accompanied her brother because she missed her sister, she had thought they would simply collect Bella and return home, she had not expected any of this.

"Jake what is he talking about?" Bella asked him, desperation clear in her voice.

Jacob glared at Edward, his dark eyes flashing with hatred. "You really are a sick bastard."

"Just tell me what's going on?" Bella demanded.

The wolves began to growl and Sam once again had to command them to stay still. He had warned Jacob that this might come out, but his brother had been stubborn and refused to tell Bella the truth, insisting that it was irrelevant. "Tell her Jacob." He urged.

Jacob took Bella's hands in his own. He gazed into her eyes, begging her with his own to understand. But before he had the chance to speak, Edward got there first.

"He imprinted on you, Bella. That is why he fought so hard to get you back. You think it was love that made him so devoted to you, it was nothing of the sort. It was the supernatural pull of the imprint forcing the wolf inside him to save you. I am sorry to be harsh my love but it's best that you know. He doesn't love you, not really. It is merely a quirk of fate that is all." Edward sneered, his eyes staring triumphantly at Jacob.

_**A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Raw**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the awesome reviews.  
**_

**Part Eleven-Goodbye to the Disco Ball :D**

Bella glanced at Edward's smug expression and then Jacob's distraught one. His hold on her hands intensified. "Bells, look at me." He begged her.

She finally regained the use of her voice, although it sounded hoarse to her ears. "Is what Edward said true? Have you imprinted on me?"

Jacob kept his eyes on her face as he replied. "Yes."

Bella felt the breath leave her body, she trembled slightly as a wave of disappointment flooded through her. He had lied to her. The one person she thought would never do that and he had, and about something very important. "I see."

"Listen to me, Bells I..." Jacob stopped talking when Bella tugged her hands out of his and shook her head fiercely.

"No not here, not with everyone listening." She said sadly.

Edward crossed his arms and smiled as he looked over at his love rival. "You see Bella, you thought you could trust him, but he..."

Bella whirled round and glared at him, the hatred shining from her eyes made him falter. "Bella?" His voice had lost it's smug tone.

"I wish I still had my old strength because I would really like to slap you around the face right about now." She seethed. Her small hands clenched into fists and she actually took a step forward as if intending to do so.

"Bells, be careful." Jacob warned her.

Bella spun around again. "Do not tell me to be careful." She yelled at Jacob, her cheeks were flushed red and her hair was a tangled halo around her head as she pulled it back from her face. There was the flash of the old Bella. Jacob couldn't help it, he grinned at her.

"What the hell are you grinning about?" Bella demanded.

Jacob just shrugged. "Nothing."

"You are so infuriating." Bella narrowed her eyes at him.

"Bella please, he is not worth your anger." Edward interrupted. "Remember your dignity."

Bella felt her anger rising up in her chest, she almost choked she felt so mad. It was another new and intense experience for her. After weeks of feeling fragile and helpless, the rush of rage empowered her. She stalked over to Edward, the wolves edging after her protectively in case Cullen decided to do something.

"I have to remember my dignity do I?" Bella shouted. "Do you know my one biggest regret about our pathetic marriage, Edward Cullen?"

Edward stared at her, he seemed unable to respond. He didn't recognize the girl in front of him at all. The Bella he had always known had been gentle and agreeable. She had never willingly raised her voice to him in this way like some cheap harridan. In the past she had always conceded to his wishes. Whatever damage the dog had done to her when she had been changed back into her human self, it was permanent.

"Lost your voice, have you?" Bella had to stop herself from hitting him. "My biggest regret during our marriage is that I never kicked your ass, you smug, overbearing, controlling freak."

The wolves howled unanimously as Jacob and Sam began to cheer her on. Edward seemed completely frozen. His eyes studied Bella as he tried desperately to read her mind. She didn't mean this? Surely not. If he just got her away from the wolf pack's influence she would turn back into the girl he knew when they first met.

"Bella please, this is not you..." Edward reached out for her but she stepped back.

"Leave me alone." Bella's anger began to drain away, she now felt a surreal calm take it's place. She had been wanting to vent her anger at her husband for a long time, but never had the courage to do so, even as a vampire she had remained submissive. Yelling at him had been a cathartic experience. She turned her attention to Alice, who was hovering uncertainly by Edward's side. "Make sure he gets home. Once this is done, I really implore you to go Alice. Take Jasper and get the hell out of the Cullen household before they drag you down with them. We are done here."

Bella turned away from her husband and sister-in-law, her back ramrod straight as she went to rejoin the wolves. They surrounded her at once, hiding her in a safe cocoon.

* * *

Bella did not speak to Jacob on the journey back to the house. He tried to engage her in conversation, but she just told him she was not ready to talk. He felt a sick feeling begin to churn in his stomach, Bella had completely closed off and was shutting him out. The tension was palpable between them when they reached the house, Jacob switched off the engine and sat back in his seat, gripping the steering wheel tightly in his hands.

"Are we going inside?" Bella finally asked as she saw that he wasn't making a move to get out.

"Do you even want to?" Jacob turned to look at her.

"Why wouldn't I want to?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Because ever since you found out about the imprint you have refused to talk to me or even discuss it." Jacob said impatiently.

"Oh I see." Bella's anger flared again at his presumption. "Just because I don't want to discuss my personal feelings in front of my ex husband and a pack of wolves that makes me a bad person. I told you I wanted to wait and talk about it in private."

"It's private now." Jacob threw his hands up in the air. "So talk to me."

"No. I'm not ready. The pack will be here soon." Bella crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Well I am ready." Jacob said belligerently.

"And I told you I'm not." Bella retorted.

"You can be so fucking frustrating, do you know that?" Jacob yelled at her.

"Me? You were the one keeping secrets." Bella yelled back at him. "So if I want to make you sweat then I will."

"Oh so this is you punishing me?" Jacob demanded.

"No I am not punishing you." Bella's face flushed red, her large brown eyes shooting sparks as she glared at him. "You men are so damn annoying."

Jacob grabbed her by the top of the arms, making her squeal in surprise, as he lifted her from her seat and placed her on his lap so that she was straddling him. Bella's anger left as soon as it arrived to be replaced with desire. Her emotions were still see sawing all over the place as she experienced incredible highs and then lows. This was definitely a high. Jacob's hands were now cupping her face and he tilted his head to the side and kissed her.

Bella placed her hands on his broad shoulders as she leaned into him, completely forgetting that the pack would be joining them very soon. They had stayed behind to make certain that Edward and Alice left. Edward still seemed to be in shock at the way the meeting had gone. Alice had to persuade him to leave. The wolf pack were creating an impenetrable barrier, not allowing him to pursue Bella. With no choice left, Edward had reluctantly departed. A thoughtful Alice following him.

The windows were steaming up in the truck. Just like the previous night Jacob and Bella began to get carried away. Jacob was in the process of pulling Bella's t-shirt up over her head when a knock on the window startled them. Bella bumped her head on the roof of the truck while Jacob cursed.

"Fuck." He swore.

They heard laughter outside as Bella struggled to pull her t-shirt back down. "This is so embarrassing." She muttered.

"More like annoying." Jacob complained. "You better go first, Bells."

"Me? Why?" Bella climbed off of his lap and used the trucks mirror as she tried to tame her hair.

"Because I need a moment." Jacob gave her meaningful look.

"Why?" Bella asked in confusion.

"Don't make me spell it out honey. This is awkward enough as it is. Just stall them for a moment, please." Jacob begged her.

Bella finally got a clue, her face turned fire engine red as she stared at him for a second before quickly opening up the passenger door and falling out of the truck, literally. She landed on the muddy ground, the earth splattering up her t-shirt. She heard laughter and winced as she realised the whole pack had just witnessed her fall.

"That good was it Bella?" Paul called out, to a chorus of more laughter.

"Can't have been that great, she's still dressed." Jared snickered.

"Cool it guys." Embry warned them, not able to hide his smile. He took pity on Bella and helped her up. "Why is Jake still in the truck?"

Bella's face heated up again at Embry's question. "Err...he just needs a moment." She mumbled, brushing the dirt off of her jeans.

More laughter greeted this statement. Sam had to order them all to shut up, though he was clearly amused himself. "Come on guys get in the house. I'm sure Jake will join us when his _moment's_ up."

They all laughed again, even Leah. She linked arms with Bella. "Come on girlfriend lets get you inside and cleaned up."

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?" Bella said ruefully.

"I doubt it." Leah replied as she pulled her into the house.

* * *

"You were amazing Bella, telling Edward to get lost like that." Seth gave her a quick hug.

"Yeah I have to admit Swan, you were good out there today." Paul said grudgingly.

"Definitely took me by surprise." Jared said with his mouth full, he had just raided the kitchen cupboards and was passing around some snacks.

"Did you see his face?" Embry chuckled. "Especially when you said you wished you had kicked his ass."

Bella turned red again. She was glad when Jacob finally made his entrance. This only set the pack off laughing again, as they gave him friendly jibes about his 'moment.'

"Very funny guys." Jacob said with a grin as he went over to join Bella.

"We should celebrate." Seth announced suddenly.

Paul cuffed him on the back of the head. "Trust you to suggest that."

"That's not a bad idea actually." Sam interjected. "It's not like we've had much time lately to all get together."

Everyone took the idea more seriously when their Alpha agreed he liked the idea. "Any ideas on what we could do?"

"Beach party." Seth said at once.

"We'd need permission from the elders. I hardly want to go crawling to Old Quil for that." Sam said dismissively.

Bella tentatively raised her hand. Everyone turned to look at her. She cleared her throat nervously. "We could have a party here? I mean we have enough land out the back and we could have a bonfire. I'll cook. It'll be my way of saying thank you for today."

Jacob slipped his arm across her shoulders. "That's an awesome idea honey."

"Eww pass me the sick bag." Paul quipped. "We don't want Jake to have another_ moment,_ do we?"

Jacob jumped up and caught hold of Paul, wrestling him to the ground in a play fight. Immediately the others made a circle around them as they cheered them on. Bella looked at them all in alarm. Leah laughed at her worried expression.

"Is it always like this?" Bella asked her.

"Get used to it girlfriend." Leah said with a smile.

_**A/N-next up Jake and Bella get to have their 'talk' wink, wink and of course the bonfire party! :)**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Raw**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Twelve-Bella's Confession**

Bella and Jacob finally waved the last of the pack off. They had all ended up staying until gone midnight, ordering take out and lounging about the house; laughing and joking. It had been an exhausting evening but an enjoyable one. Everyone was in a good mood after sending Cullen on his way. They all felt they could now relax.

Jacob closed the door and smiled at Bella, he could see she was fighting to stay awake. For her especially, it had been a long day. He took her hand and kissed the back of it. "Are you okay, honey?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Bella returned his smile and led the way back into the living room.

"I can see you're tired." Jacob told her as he pulled her down on the couch beside him.

"I am but I want to have that talk now." Bella gazed up at him expectantly.

"Are you sure?" Jacob checked one last time.

"Stop asking me that." Bella batted his chest lightly with her hand. "I want to clear the air properly."

"Okay." Jacob put his arm over Bella's shoulders as she nestled into his side. "Where do you want me to start?"

Bella considered for a moment. "When did you imprint on me?"

"You don't start with the easy questions do you?" Jacob said ruefully.

"Jake, stop putting it off." Bella gave him a mock glare. "Now answer the question."

Jacob picked up her hand and laced their fingers together. His expression turned serious. "It was after you changed back. You had just woken up and dumped that pitcher of water over me. I felt a huge jolt when I looked into your eyes and it happened. I couldn't believe it, all the years I had prayed it would happen before you married Cullen, then it happens all these years later instead."

Bella winced at the memory of how she had treated Jacob when she first regained consciousness. She had been awful to him, yelling mean things and accusing him of trying to control her life, just like Edward. "I'm sorry about the way I acted." She apologized softly.

"That doesn't matter now, Bells. It's all in the past." Jacob assured her. "I was naïve to think that everything would be fine straight off. You had been through a horrible experience. It was all worth it in the end to reach this point."

"You are too good to me, Jake." Bella said sadly. "I don't deserve it."

Jacob let go of her hand and put his fingers under her chin to raise her head. "Don't do that. There is no point in all this self blame. I love you, it's as simple as that."

Bella nodded, feeling her eyes fill up with liquid. All she seemed to do these days was cry. She felt overly emotional, maybe because she was tired. "I think I know why you imprinted on me then Jake and not before."

"How?" Jacob asked her curiously.

Bella bit her lip nervously, not really wanting to discuss her years as a vampire, but it was relevant to what she had to tell him. "You know that Edward was never able to read my mind." She began reluctantly.

"Yeah." Jacob hated her saying the leech's name. He tried to keep his cool.

"Well there was a reason behind it. I only found out after I was turned." Bella sighed. "I have a shielding power, my mind is able to resist supernatural powers, like Edward's mind reading and the Volturi's ability to harm, also..."

"An imprint." Jacob finished for her. "So you were unconsciously shielding yourself against it."

"Yes. I wasn't aware of it though." Bella took his hand and held it tightly. "I think when I awoke after I became human again, I was feeling vulnerable and weak, my shield must have been lowered. Or maybe it's gone completely."

"No, you must still have it. I don't think the leech could read your mind still." Jacob dismissed that idea.

"I suppose. One last question and then we are done." Bella promised him.

"Shoot."

"Why did you not tell me about it? The one thing that I could always rely on was you telling me the absolute truth, even when I didn't want to hear it. It hurt Jake, that you lied to me." Bella admitted.

Jacob had been wrong, Bella had saved the hardest question until the end. Her words made him feel guilty. He took a moment to try and think of the best way to explain his reasons. "I didn't want to lie to you Bells, but I also didn't want you to feel tied to me because of an imprint." He paused for a second, his eyes staring into her large brown ones. "I love you. I always have. The imprint is irrelevant. What the bloodsucker said was all bullshit. I fought so hard to get you back because I couldn't live without you, I love you so much, Bella. It's been hell all these years without you. If it wasn't for the pack and my drive to find a cure, I don't know what shape I would be in right now. But the main reason I didn't tell you was because I wanted you to love me back, just me, not because some supernatural hocus pocus tells you that we should be together."

Bella saw the sincerity in his eyes and heard it in his voice. Her heart sped up at his declaration. She had never really doubted that he truly loved her. She was used to Edward's manipulative ways, but hearing him say it out loud, pushed any lingering worries out of her mind. She lifted his hand and kissed his knuckles, letting her lips linger on his warm skin. She had asked him once what love was, and know she knew. Inside she had always known, she had just been too scared to let it out and believe in it. She raised her head, her long chestnut hair falling about her shoulders in soft waves. Tears spilled out of her eyes as she gazed up a him, the words she needed to say spilling from her lips. "I love you, Jake. I love you."

* * *

Jacob kissed her, he held her beloved face between his hands and moved his mouth against hers slowly, sensuously, making her breath hitch. When they pulled apart both of them were breathing heavily, their eyes locked. Nothing more needed to be said, they knew where this was leading. Jacob stood up and held out his hand. Bella placed her hand in his as he helped her to rise. She could swear her heart was going to burst out of her chest with the mixture of desire and nervousness she was feeling.

As if he could sense her trepidation, Jacob put a hand on her cheek, stroking the soft skin with his thumb. "I have been waiting my whole life for this moment." He said huskily.

"Me too." Bella smiled at him lovingly, taking his hand from her cheek and lacing their fingers together. She walked backwards towards the bedroom, her eyes never leaving his.

Jacob sat back on the bed and pulled her toward him, his hands encircling her waist. He couldn't believe how tiny she was. He looked up at her and smiled. Bella smiled back at him, a glint of teasing in her eyes. She pulled out of his hold, laughing as he pouted. She winked at him as she stepped back. He watched in amusement as she tripped slightly before steadying herself. That was so Bella and one of the thousands of reasons he loved her so much.

Bella regained her composure and smiled at him again, giving him another wink as she slowly began to undress. Jacob's eyes widened. He watched in delight as she pulled her t-shirt over her head, flinging it at him so that it fell in his lap. He immediately threw it to one side and began to get up, but Bella wagged her finger at him. She gave him another teasing smile before doing a little dance, spinning around and unhooking her bra at the back. She looked over her shoulder and threw it over to him. He caught it easily, his eyes roaming over her exposed back. She was so beautiful.

Bella had her hands over her chest as she turned back to him, her creamy skin had a red tint as she blushed, her nerves once again kicking in. Jacob could sense how she was feeling, he got up and she didn't stop him this time. He came up to her and put his warm hands on her shoulders. He gently tugged at her hands so that they fell away, revealing her pert breasts.

"You're beautiful, honey." Jacob whispered before leaning down to kiss her. As soon as their lips met, Bella's nervousness vanished. She felt his hands slide from her shoulders, down her sides, tracing the curve of her hips. She felt her skin heat up everywhere he touched and she couldn't stop the moan that escaped her lips as she felt him cup one of her breasts. When he began to kiss them, Bella gasped. Her fingers sank into his silky hair, the sensation of his lips on her breasts were sending her wild.

His mouth left her breasts and traveled down to her stomach. He teased her skin with his tongue, smiling as he heard her breath coming in short pants. Before Bella realized what was happening, Jacob stood and swept her up into his arms, carrying her over to the bed bridal style. He gently lay her down and crawled up beside her, looking down into her eyes. "I love you," he said again.

Bella gently ran her hands over his bare chest, tracing the outline of his muscles with her fingers. "I love you too." Her other hand slipped behind his neck and pulled his head down to hers, kissing him deeply.

Things escalated after that, they both parted quickly as they scrambled to get rid of the last of their clothes. It was easy for Jacob, he only had to remove his shorts and boxers, but Bella had to take off her jeans. She was in such a rush that her legs became tangled. They both collapsed with laughter when she swore and Jacob helped her take them off, flinging them to the back of the room.

Now they were skin to skin, Jacob kept kissing Bella as he entered her. They made love slowly, taking the time to explore and enjoy each others bodies. There were no interruptions this time and when Bella orgasmed, she cried out Jacob's name as she clung to him tightly; he followed soon after.

* * *

There was loud thumping sounds coming from the living room. Jacob and Bella woke up from a deep sleep, both drowsy and exhausted after their night together. They had sex three times during the course of the night and finally fell asleep just as dawn's early light began to creep over the horizon. Bella pushed her hair out of her face and stared at Jacob, who was looking extremely pissed off.

"What's going on?" She asked him,

"I can't believe they just let themselves in." Jacob rolled off the bed and hunted around for his shorts.

Bella sat up in the bed and pulled the sheet up to her chin, afraid someone was going to burst in right at that very moment. "Who is it?" She whispered.

"Embry, Seth and Paul." Jacob said irritably.

"Why are they here?" Bella questioned in alarm.

"Fuck knows, wait here while I go and kick their asses." Jacob finally found his shorts and began to put them on. A loud pounding on the door made him freeze.

"Wakey, wakey lovebirds." Snickering could be heard on the other side of the door. "You're not having another _moment _are you, Jakey boy?" Paul joked.

Jacob's face darkened. He ran over to the door and yanked it open. Paul was leaning against it and he fell through the doorway onto the floor. Embry and Seth, who were standing in the hall, howled with laughter. "What the hell?" Paul cursed as he swiftly got back onto his feet.

Bella dived under the sheets, completely mortified. Jacob shoved Paul out of the room and closed the door behind him. "What are you doing here?" He hissed at his brothers.

"We needed to get some stuff to set up for the bonfire party. We did knock, but you were otherwise occupied, so we just came in and decided to get it." Embry smirked at Jacob.

"Why now?" Jacob demanded. "It's still early."

"Dude, it's like five o'clock." Embry told him.

"It can't be?" Jacob raked a hand through his hair. Bella was supposed to be doing the food, but they had only just woken up.

"It really is." Seth interjected.

"Have you been having _moments_ all this time, Jake?" Paul laughed at his own lame joke.

"Very funny, not." Jacob said darkly. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Look guys we're going to have to make it another night. We haven't had time to prepare the food."

Embry grinned at his friend's discomfiture. "Calm down, Jake. We have it covered. We all guessed you and Bella would be preoccupied." His grin widened as he saw Jacob roll his eyes. "So we got together and made some snacks and stuff. We've ordered some take out too. So all you and Bella have to do is turn up.

Jacob laughed at his brothers, he leaned forward and grabbed the three of them in a bear hug, Paul yelling at him to get off. Jacob released them quickly. "Thanks guys. Just take everything you need.

"That's what we were trying to do." Paul grouched.

"We'll leave you to get ready then." Embry punched Jacob in the shoulder before following the others back out of the house.

_**A/N-thanks for reading. The bonfire party is up next. ;)**_


End file.
